I do

I do…

These two simple words, I do, I have promised to say on more than one occasions but I never followed through. I have touched on this subject before but I am a run-away bride. I have planned the whole wedding down to every small detail and then I run. I once ran so far I left the province I have always called my home. I can say running will not solve your problems. Problems follow you wherever you go.

I have been lost. I have struggled. My life has not worked out like I planned. I have not found my forever, my happily ever after.

As a kid I danced around in a fluffy pink ball gown dress dreaming of my wedding. I dreamed of being married. I dreamed of my fairy tale day.

I have dreamed.

I have failed.

I do believe that my happily ever after exists. I do believe in love. I believe the right person will one day find me, at this point I think he’s lost but who am I to rush. I wonder and I dream how we will meet. Have we met? Who knows. That is the journey of life. I made it this far on my own I am in no hurry.

I admit today I love my life. I have created a life I celebrate. I am excited to take on each day. I want to share my hopes, dream, failures, successes and lessons learned. I am not ashamed.

I do not regret my past I embrace it for it has made me into the fierce woman I am today. I am grateful for all my failures. My failures have lead me to where I am today. I am fulfilling my dreams. I am no longer scared. I have a better understanding of what I want from life because of the love I have experienced.

I am grateful to have experienced love, it was not forever but it helped my heart see the good in the world and in the people I have met.

I admit I am a hopeless romantic. I love romantic movies that brings me to tears. I love weddings that make me cry. Love hits me right in the feelings and I love a good happy, sappy ending. I one hundred percent do “ugly cry” at real weddings too. I love an exchange of vows that just grabs your heart strings and makes you feel like they have found forever. Also wedding cake, let’s be serious, I freaking love cake.

I have failed many times over at love. I am thankful for each relationship that came into my life the good, bad and the down-right ugly. Every relationship opened my eyes up to what I want in life. Each person taught me so much about myself and what I am thankful for.

I have had to heal my heart from the damage done. I had to let go of what I feared to let go of. My heart has been left empty. I have felt heart break. Letting go, forgiving and self-love are some of the hardest lessons to learn. I guarantee they are the most freeing. I feel so much lighter and yet my heart is so full.

I let go.

I forgive.

I love myself.

I am loved.

I have created a life filled with love. I open the door to my house and I am instantly surrounded by love. I love where I live. My son is the most amazing lovable little boy. He tells me millions of times a day how much he loves me. He writes me little love note reminders. He makes my heart full. I never knew the love of a mother until you came into my life. I am a single mother and so I get double the amount of love.

My dog Charleston taught me what unconditional love from an animal was. He was my heart dog. He saved my life. When he passed he left the biggest hole in my heart I wasn’t sure I could ever fill. That was of course until his sister Queen Kelsey came into our lives. I am beyond grateful for her wild adventures. Life has an amazing way of giving your heart the love you need if you’re open to it.

I have once again opened my heart.

I may not have said “I do” to someone forever, not yet. The great search continues, but I have filled my heart with self-love. Love from my family. Love from my friends. Love from my corgis. I have the greatest family, friends and corgis. Thank you to each and every one of you! I love you all so very much.

Be sure to tell those in your life how much you love them.

Tomorrow is never promised, so love and appreciate the people who are in your life.