Month: July 2022

Last week after I finished my blog and posted it I was thinking I have an afternoon to myself how should I spend it? When I checked my phone my friend Jes had sent me a message did I want to go kayaking? Truth be told I wanted to sit on my deck in the sun and read but I have two kayaks that have just been sitting all summer waiting to be used and I live steps away from the lake. I agreed to go kayaking with her and enjoy some outside time without ever looking outside.

My morning had been filled with interviews something I haven’t done in a long time selling companies on why they should pick me. I have my fingers crossed I hear some good news. I think I have found a job that will allow me to fill my passions. Dream jobs do exist you just have to find them. (Update I got the job-work from home gig full-time!)

As we loaded up the kayaks and made our way to the lake I could see the white caps of the waves forming. We made a goal to make it down to the park despite the waves. We had quite the fight with the waves but we had a goal and we were going to get there. While paddling until our arms hurt making little progress into the wind we laughed, we took water into our boats and we just said what a nice day it was. We decided to focus on going with the motion and not fighting. It was a beautiful sunny day the breeze on the lake was refreshing. I’m sure to anyone on the shore we looked like we needed to be rescued. I’m not sure if people thought we were laughing or crying.

The waves coming made me think a lot about how life has been, where I want to go, and how the waves are like everyday obstacles.  Like each wave, I can only manage one issue at a time. As each wave came I thought how is it best to deal with this wave? You can choose to fight against the waves and maybe take on some water and some trouble along the way My granny always uses the saying “Is this the hill you want to die on?” be prepared to fight if you feel it is. This saying of grannies put into perspective what is important for me. There are very few things I would die to prove. I enjoy seeing other people’s points of view and thoughts. I know my way isn’t the only way or the right way it’s just another way of doing something.  Having conversations leads to great outcomes. I like to lead the way and be the one who discovers how to do something but just because I did it one way doesn’t mean you can’t do it another. What works for one person may not always work for the next. I realized as I watched Jes get to shore alongside me using a completely different method including some impressive spins but we both made it. Life isn’t about who makes it to the finish line the fastest it’s about enjoying the journey. Tackling the day’s waves with laughter and great company.

These last two months slowing down the pace of life and realizing where I am supposed to be and filling my days with passion have taught me so much. I am thankful for each one of my adventures, my tribe of amazing people, and the opportunities that have come my way.

Start each day with a grateful heart and let the waves take you with the flow to where you’re supposed to be. Remember to listen when other people talk and a conversation takes two people with equal amounts of talking. If you disagree think is this the hill I want to die on? As someone who used to be always right it not worth it. Stop and listen you could learn a lot.

 

As I walked here alone along the beach next to the Atlantic Ocean last week I captured this gorgeous sunset. I was alone at the beach walking for hours and hours trying to see the sunset from all angles. The brilliant colors that danced in the sky which reflected off the beach, every time you turned it appeared to be even prettier as it moved down the beach.  I was also hoping to catch a glimpse of the supermoon that was supposed to be in view yet it remained hidden behind dense clouds. For hours I walked up and down the beach my heart so full of love. My mind wandered to what a hectic week it had been. I was excited to be soon going home. To unpack my suitcase and greet the pets. Vacation is always an experience but there is no place like home.

I spent as much time every day as I could right close to the ocean listening to the waves wash up on the shore. This will forever be my favorite sound. I even braved getting into the ocean with my son something I rarely do. I got thrown and taken out by a few giant waves. The waves don’t wait for anyone many of us got thrown around before we made it out to the point you could flow with the waves. I forgot how big the waves are and how hard the riptide can be. Just swimming for a short time exhausted me. I caught a great tan and even read a couple of books but I was struggling on this trip for a variety of reasons. This sunset and a moment alone is just what I needed. As I looked back and saw my footprints in the sand it got me thinking about what is the footprint of my life that I want to leave behind? I want to share my passion and my lessons with the world. I felt more compelled to write than I ever had. This is when I took this picture to capture the feeling I was having. To remember this moment in time for the rest of my life.

I sat on the beach in a spot that was empty no one near me, it was near dark at this point and I just started writing about whatever came to my mind. Ocean waves and writing have a way of clearing my mind. I needed to find some clarity. I have so many things that have happened lately that have sucked out all my positive energy I admit I was feeling drained and I knew I wanted to change that feeling so I wrote and I cried. Not because I was sad my life is always changing and I am grateful for the path I am on and all the things I am learning. I cried because as I wrote I had so much to be thankful for. I used to write all the things that were bothering me and flow all the negativity which usually just left me feeling sadder.  As I sat and stared at this list I was so grateful for so many people in my life. I have such a tribe of great people surrounding me. I am always changing and finding new ways to work through things. Life is about always learning and changing the way you look at things. Thank you to all those I reached out to lately needing to hear your words of wisdom. For the phone calls shared, the messages shared, the tea, and the wine and snacks I am grateful for each and every one of you. Remind yourself daily what you’re grateful for. Having a grateful heart moves your day in a positive way.

 

I have made a series of choices that have changed my life.  With these choices I learned to never say never.

Here are some examples of times in my life when I said never.

Never say never.

I said I would never have a child. I grew up dreaming of living a life spent alone surrounded by pets. I thought that was living the dream. I never dreamed I would be a mom. I am beyond thankful for my son. My son is the light of my life. I couldn’t imagine life without him. These last nine years of my life have been the best journey along side him. He has taught me so much and we have created so many memories together. He brings out a love I never knew existed in me. He is the little dude version of me and every day I am so thankful this sweet boy is mine.

After my heart dog, Charlie passed away I said I would never have another dog. Never say never within twenty-four hours my son found our Kelso’s dog online and she quickly came to join and run our family. You drive us crazy miss Kelso but we love you. The bond you share with D is beyond cute. He finally got the dog of his dreams. Careful what you wish for.

A year ago I decided to brave something I have always been fearful of. I am trying to face my fears and learn that I am only fearful because of the way I view something. Change the way you think about things and your experience can be very different.

A year ago I signed up for online dating. Something I said I would N-E-V-E-R do.

I said I would never online date. Never say never I braved it and I want to say is ladies holy heck how do you all do it? That process is exhausting! I picked a paid app praying that it would be a little bit better than the free apps. It didn’t restore my faith in dating. Online dating made me question my choices. I was overwhelmed and these dudes consumed a lot of my time. I met a couple of men that made me think I’ll be alone collecting dogs forever. Nothing wrong with that. My life was happy I just always thought my person was out there. I have spent the last six years alone working on myself after a horrible ending to a love story I thought would never end.  Never say never. I was enjoying life just me but I was at the point of being too independent and being alone FOREVER! Again nothing wrong with being alone I just always envisioned spending my time with “my person” but I was beginning to think this person I envisioned didn’t exist.

On the very last day of my membership, I was deleting my information taking down my pictures, and just being over this whole process. I didn’t think I failed I learned a lot about myself and others along the way. I gave myself 90 days which seemed like 900 by the time it wrapped up. As I was deleting my information, I am still not 100% sure how I ended up on this message in my inbox, but after reading this guy’s information, I thought I’d reply to just one more message.

I ended up having a wonderful conversation with this guy, then I chose to meet him. I honestly didn’t think we would hit it off and I almost canceled. At the last minute, I slapped on my lipstick and braved the meeting. I am happy to say it’s been 365ish days and we are still sharing our lives.

I said I would never have anyone live in my house. Seven years ago when I purchased this house it was going to be my house with my son and our dog. Our happy little lakeside living.

Never say never we now share our home. It went from our little house to one that’s again changed around re-painted and added another member in.  I am excited for what the next 365 days hold. I will admit I was nervous to move in together but I realized my fear of living with someone comes from past experiences and I am no longer bringing my past forward. This is a new experience and I will do my best every day to enjoy it.

I said I would never quit my hospital job. A job I loved for the last almost twelve years. Never say never. I did it. I left my job to pursue traveling and to get my book written. I am dedicating time every day to writing something I love. I am looking for the next great work-at-home opportunity to come my way. I am excited about where this journey takes me next.

I am letting go of fear and embracing what comes next. I will no longer say NEVER because I never know what could happen next. I am grateful for every day and I do my best to fill it with love and kindness.