Love is patient, love is kind. Should not make you lose your mind.

Two years ago, while working my first remote job, I met a coworker who was going to see a concert. She linked me to a song called “Something in the Orange.” She swore the guy who sang this song had the best voice EVER. I love a good voice, so I googled this good-voiced guy. His name is Zach Bryan, and I immediately thought, “Oh, heck no, he sings country. Hard pass.”

As a girl who lives for heavy metal music, I have never been able to get into any country songs. I love to scream my lyrics it’s how I process my feelings. Play angry music until you’re no longer angry. It is a theory that has never let me down. Angry music heals all the parts of me that in a moment feel broken. I always thought country music sounded depressed and the last thing I wanted to feel was more depression after listening to music. It is supposed to take away my sadness and not add to it.

Being kind to this new coworker, I did enjoy working with her, she brought light and laughter to each day. I did listen to the song and OH MY GOODNESS she was right his voice blew me away. I became obsessed and had to hear all of his music. Everyone who knows me is sick of hearing Zach Bryan, my son immediately puts in his earbuds. Everyone thinks I am being drugged how could I love this country music? What is wrong with me? What happened to the heavy metal gal? Even I am not sure it is just something about his voice I am so in love with him. I am so jealous she got to see him live. I have been stalking his tour and trying to get tickets, but they are sold out or crazy-priced. I am not giving up I will make this dream come true. I still love my heavy music, but I am trying to keep an open mind to all types of music. Good lyrics hit the heart hard.

The title of this blog is a line from his song called All the Time. I found it during my last breakup and played it on repeat, never getting sick of it. Are you also a weirdo who can listen to and sing through a song till you feel better? I think this is now one of my favourite songs as it reminds me that love should be patient, kind, and if it isn’t then it is time to get out. We do not have to be a part of anything we do not want to be. Life is short and you should make it as freaking amazing as possible. I refuse to entertain anything that causes me stress, worry, or overthinking. I have had enough of those feelings to last a lifetime.  I feel like in my last relationship no matter what I did I was always losing my mind. I refuse to go fight that battle. I have lived by the quote “It is better to be alone and happy than with someone and unhappy.” Sometimes it takes me a while to get there but when I am done, I am done. I love being alone. I did years of self-work to love myself. Before I started my journey of self love I looked for love in all the wrong places I admit that I just so badly wanted to be loved. Life is way too short and each day I am grateful to still be here on my journey if you are with me on this journey, it is because I think you are awesome! The people in my life surround me with love and keep me calm. I am grateful for my people. I believe that not everyone is meant to be on your journey. Some people come into our lives for a chapter and some stay for a lifetime. Each chapter teaches us valuable lessons.

I wouldn’t say I gave up on love I have always wanted my happily ever after, but the search was exhausting and the quality I couldn’t find. I always wanted to be married and not have kids. I had a kid, and I never got married, life never goes as planned but I am glad mine unfolded just as it was supposed to. I am not religious, but I am spiritual, and I think my angels are guiding me where I belong. I joked with my Opa before he passed that when he got to the other side make sure you find the man on earth I am meant to be with and throw him in my pathway.

My friends and family who have met my boyfriend all ask me what he is drugging me with? I have never loved anyone like I love this man. If he is drugging me let him this is the happiest I have ever been. I have never had such a smooth sailing experience. This love is patient, this love is kind, and oddly enough he hasn’t made me lose my mind.

I used to listen to this song to heal my heart. I dreamed that this easy kind of love would find me. Now I smile when this song comes on and think I have that kind of love. Yes, I still sing the song at the top of my lungs, but it hits me differently.

Fill yourself with self-love and keep an open mind. Work through what you are going through and never give up. Put out to the world what you want, and it will happen, probably when you least expect it that is when it happened for me.