Author: sascha

Hello 2025!

Do you set New Year’s resolutions? Do you believe in the new year new me theory? Do you have any New Year’s traditions?

I have shared a tradition with my Gran for the last few years where we meet up for lunch and a coffee to end the year with my favourite person always makes the year seem complete. I don’t think Gran will ever know how much I love and appreciate this tradition. We talk about the past year and the one coming up. All the things that happened and all the things that we want to do. Thank you for always being my person. I know each and every year I got this because you forever answer my calls and meet me for lunch chats!

Last year, I rang in 2024 at a concert, singing my heart out until I lost my voice. It was the best New Year’s I have ever celebrated with my tall giraffe friend, and it is a memory I will forever cherish. It was the most fun New Year’s, but one of the hardest chapters of my life. 2024 challenged me in ways I didn’t know I needed to learn and grow. 2024 took my voice away and made me really think about what I wanted for my life. 2024 showed me that life can change in an instant and that every day is a gift. 2024 forever shifted the way I think about life moving forward.

For New Year’s 2025 I had a glass of champagne at home with my boyfriend and my son. No, my son didn’t drink champagne he had a fancy lemon drink. We stayed up late and we watched the ball drop at midnight in Time Square with a bunch of live musicians and yes, I sang along to every song. 2025 started out simple and easy the theme I am trying to set for 2025. We sat and talked about all the things we did in 2024, and we looked forward to what we want to do in 2025. We shared so many laughs and moments of love my heart is so full. In moments where I slow down and cherish the people who give me the greatest memories, I am blessed and surrounded by love. I appreciate my life.

Last weekend brought on a “champagne birthday” for my son 12 years old on the 12th and we lived it up! I do my best to make all his little kid dreams come true. At a table of almost the whole family minus those on a sailboat and a farmer, we had a meal that would have made my Opa smile. He loved a family gathering.  I have always let my son skip school for his birthday and I have tried to create the best memories for his special day. He skipped school, we visited friends, and he helped me purchase skates.

My son has wanted me to go skating since he learned many years ago. I have always been scared to skate or more so to fall.  In my early 20s I broke my back.  I never want my child to think like that, to be scared to do something, so he helped me through my fear. He reminds me we can do anything.  Holding his hand, I conquered my fear of skating and falling. With the snow lightly falling on a perfect winter day, and while I am sure I looked like a giraffe on skates I did it! I skated for an hour with laughter and fun memories I know my son will always cherish. I told him about my memories when I skated as a kid with my mom, aunt, and Oma. They were all pro skaters and could do fancy figure skating moves. My auntie says that she still can, so we are all waiting to see the triple lutz. Dust off them skates quickly before the ice is gone auntie.

2025 I know what I want to accomplish. I have decided I only live once and I am going after what I want to accomplish.  Stay tuned, I have a feeling it is going to be a heck of a year.

 

 

We were not ready for this day!

Kelso the corgi you came to us as a senior and you ran our lives for almost 5 years. Our lives will not be the same without you. Thank you for the memories, adventures, laughs, love, and all the lives you touched along the way.

Christmas will be strange without you. The way you used to bite us when we sang Happy Holidays. We never found out why you hated the word happy or bit us for saying it. It was shocking but caused us so many laughs. We used to call Kelso the happy police. She was a complicated old soul. We would have to put her outside or go far away when we wanted to sing Happy songs. The first time we sang Happy Birthday before we knew that you hated the word happy and that you would bite us was shocking. I captured this moment on video and we will laugh at it forever! My entire family whispered or spelled happy which you eventually caught onto. We were warned about your uniqueness. Kelso was a tiny girl but she had a giant personality. You girl kept us in line. We always joked that we lived with you and not that you lived with us. You wore the Queen name tag because you knew you were in charge. Kelso was the Queen of our lives. Our house seems far too quiet and we are lost without you. Doggos never live long enough but we are grateful for all the laughs and memories she shared with our family.

For the last 12—almost 13 years, I have had a corgi. It started with my heart dog Charleston, and the day he passed away, Dan found Kelsey online by accident, and the story was too wild. She was posted on a rescue site and was the only Corgi in Canada online, oddly within an hour’s drive. I was not ready to have another dog but Dan wanted to meet this sweet girl, he was drawn to her. The lady fostering her said she was not good with other dogs, she bites and was not tested with kids or cats. She said many other people had come to meet her but she did not take to them and she believed that dogs picked their owners. We agreed to just meet her and well from the moment she met Dan she sat on him and would not move. We later found out that her previous owner was an old man named Dan. Now she was going to have a young man Dan. Dan was so sweet to his dog, it was the perfect bond. She loved him and would only listen to him. On her last night when he pat her she lit up. I held her paw and thanked her for being such a sweet girl. I hope we gave her the retirement years of her dreams! We promised to rescue her and give her the best remaining years we could. I think Dan accomplished that. We called her Kelso instead of the name Kelsey she came with, Kelso seemed to fit her more. We gave her all the love and she is forever here watching over us.  Forever the Queen of our hearts. We loved you so much sweet girl rest easy.

I hold my memories close to my heart. I treasure both the good memories and bad memories. I am thankful for all the memories I have made and I look forward to all those I plan on making.

I love asking people what their favourite memory is. I know I could not pick just one memory as my favourite, I have so many that come flooding to my mind. I am grateful for all the memories I carry with me. I feel blessed to share in so many great memories.

I asked my son recently what his favourite memory was and he didn’t have to think about it for a second he quickly said it was getting his Trews t-shirt signed by the band and singing his heart out at the concerts two summers in a row. I asked him this as we sat on the couch eating a box of Pot of Gold caramel chocolates, he said oh and anytime we share snacks because mom you always have good snacks. True fact about me, I always have good snacks. I hide them in my big purse and in my room. I do share my snacks. I love how snacks and food bring people together. I enjoy snacks and chats with my boy. I hope he forever wants to snack and chat with me.

I have a billion memories with this boy that will cause me to smile a lifetime he is my greatest accomplishment. I was thinking the other day that a memory I have not shared with him is taking family pictures. I remember as a kid about his age my mom had my brother and I get dressed up and go to Sears to take what I always thought of as awkward family pictures. I am not sure why the picture of us was made into a necklace but my son now wears our old family picture as a pendant. I remember our picture framed in the hallway of our house. I always thought that was a silly thing to do but all these years later I can still remember that day. I thought it was weird to take “family” pictures without my dad. As a kid from a “broken” family well I didn’t broken pictures at my friends houses so at the time to me it was weird.

I never took my son for family pictures because it seemed even more awkward just the two of us. I always wanted to be that mom that did yearly formal pictures. I feel like I take a million selfies and pictures of us out in the wild that he should never forget the things we did. I secretly wanted family pictures and this year I think I created a fun memory in matching plaid coats, on a local farm, we took our own funny photos. I ordered tripods for my phone and my sons camera to make it a little more formal feeling and to capture better shots. It was a last minute idea and no time for a formal photographer. I was under a time crunch so I did the best I could. I thought the memory was going to turn from cute to bad when we couldn’t get his camera last minute to work, it might have been my fault for trying to adjust the settings. I am not a photgrapher it turns out. We were able to recover and I think we took some of the cutest and funnest pictures. I quickly felt that joy of making this memory last forever as I made us into Christmas cards, magnets, ornaments and prints. I love that my boyfriend joined us and we were all able to take a bunch of shots. While they were not formal they show our personalities and captured the fun we share. I am pretty sure my boyfriend took the pictures so he can say “look at this photograph” I love that everything turns into a singing event. We will be a family full of singing laughter.

I vowed in the craziness of the last year to focus more on making memories! Life can be far to busy and quickly you can feel like how the heck did we get to 29 days till Christmas?!?!? How is it almost 2025? TIME SLOW DOWN!

Calm down, slow down and take time for making memories. On hard days make a list of some of your favourtie memories and it will quickly make you grateful for the people you have and the things you have done.

 

Two years ago, while working my first remote job, I met a coworker who was going to see a concert. She linked me to a song called “Something in the Orange.” She swore the guy who sang this song had the best voice EVER. I love a good voice, so I googled this good-voiced guy. His name is Zach Bryan, and I immediately thought, “Oh, heck no, he sings country. Hard pass.”

As a girl who lives for heavy metal music, I have never been able to get into any country songs. I love to scream my lyrics it’s how I process my feelings. Play angry music until you’re no longer angry. It is a theory that has never let me down. Angry music heals all the parts of me that in a moment feel broken. I always thought country music sounded depressed and the last thing I wanted to feel was more depression after listening to music. It is supposed to take away my sadness and not add to it.

Being kind to this new coworker, I did enjoy working with her, she brought light and laughter to each day. I did listen to the song and OH MY GOODNESS she was right his voice blew me away. I became obsessed and had to hear all of his music. Everyone who knows me is sick of hearing Zach Bryan, my son immediately puts in his earbuds. Everyone thinks I am being drugged how could I love this country music? What is wrong with me? What happened to the heavy metal gal? Even I am not sure it is just something about his voice I am so in love with him. I am so jealous she got to see him live. I have been stalking his tour and trying to get tickets, but they are sold out or crazy-priced. I am not giving up I will make this dream come true. I still love my heavy music, but I am trying to keep an open mind to all types of music. Good lyrics hit the heart hard.

The title of this blog is a line from his song called All the Time. I found it during my last breakup and played it on repeat, never getting sick of it. Are you also a weirdo who can listen to and sing through a song till you feel better? I think this is now one of my favourite songs as it reminds me that love should be patient, kind, and if it isn’t then it is time to get out. We do not have to be a part of anything we do not want to be. Life is short and you should make it as freaking amazing as possible. I refuse to entertain anything that causes me stress, worry, or overthinking. I have had enough of those feelings to last a lifetime.  I feel like in my last relationship no matter what I did I was always losing my mind. I refuse to go fight that battle. I have lived by the quote “It is better to be alone and happy than with someone and unhappy.” Sometimes it takes me a while to get there but when I am done, I am done. I love being alone. I did years of self-work to love myself. Before I started my journey of self love I looked for love in all the wrong places I admit that I just so badly wanted to be loved. Life is way too short and each day I am grateful to still be here on my journey if you are with me on this journey, it is because I think you are awesome! The people in my life surround me with love and keep me calm. I am grateful for my people. I believe that not everyone is meant to be on your journey. Some people come into our lives for a chapter and some stay for a lifetime. Each chapter teaches us valuable lessons.

I wouldn’t say I gave up on love I have always wanted my happily ever after, but the search was exhausting and the quality I couldn’t find. I always wanted to be married and not have kids. I had a kid, and I never got married, life never goes as planned but I am glad mine unfolded just as it was supposed to. I am not religious, but I am spiritual, and I think my angels are guiding me where I belong. I joked with my Opa before he passed that when he got to the other side make sure you find the man on earth I am meant to be with and throw him in my pathway.

My friends and family who have met my boyfriend all ask me what he is drugging me with? I have never loved anyone like I love this man. If he is drugging me let him this is the happiest I have ever been. I have never had such a smooth sailing experience. This love is patient, this love is kind, and oddly enough he hasn’t made me lose my mind.

I used to listen to this song to heal my heart. I dreamed that this easy kind of love would find me. Now I smile when this song comes on and think I have that kind of love. Yes, I still sing the song at the top of my lungs, but it hits me differently.

Fill yourself with self-love and keep an open mind. Work through what you are going through and never give up. Put out to the world what you want, and it will happen, probably when you least expect it that is when it happened for me.

For many years now I have been working on myself to make the best version of myself. I started writing to express myself and send simple helpful messages to others. I think the most important thing I have learned along this journey is the power of my words. I have used my words for both good and evil. I am not proud of some of the things I have said or done. But what is done I cannot change, however, I can learn, grow, and not make the same mistakes. I have no regrets because I am where I am today and I am thankful for my life.

For the last year, I stopped writing because I was struggling and I didn’t feel inspired anymore. While I was cleaning out the contents of my father’s house I found a couple of very angry letters I had written to him and it broke my heart that he kept them. In a moment of anger, I wanted to destroy him. It is one thing to say something mean you can come to forget that over time but the words on that paper, I wonder how many times he read that letter? How many years did he think I felt like that? I regret the many times over the years we didn’t talk. I was a very angry person. We are all doing the best we can with what we have and I wished I knew that wisdom then. I wish I never wrote those letters or at least burned them instead of mailing them to him. I had forgotten what I wrote in those as the years went on. I had a complicated but best-case-scenario relationship with my father. It wasn’t perfect but we made it work the best we could. I didn’t know my dad was doing his best with the skills and abilities he had. He was not prepared for me.

I wish that my dad would have thrown those letters out. It hurts my heart to think he read those more than once. Many years later he could still relive my moment of anger that I had long forgotten about. I never cooled down. I wrote that letter, I filled out the envelope and I walked it to the post office. I wrote in the heat of the moment. I should have calmed down. I should have ripped up that letter or in today’s times deleted that email or online post.

I still write letters I guess I am a bit old-fashioned but my letters come from a much kinder and understanding place. If I write something mean I set that free burn those words delete those emails or simply don’t reply you don’t have to engage.

In a moment of anger let it go. I have now learned kinder and healthier ways of dealing with the anger that I feel. I want to use my words now more to leave kind and loving marks on the world. I think as a younger me I didn’t know how to love myself and appreciate all the good around me I got stuck in the negative and blame. I let what others thought of me eat me alive. I didn’t take time to cool down or sleep on a thought before writing out how I felt. I had red-light rage and I said what was on my mind. It wasn’t always a good thing to do but I felt better getting the mean feelings off my chest. I approach my anger from the other side now and try to put myself in the shoes of the person reading the words. Yes, it is okay to be upset and angry these are natural emotions but you can express how you feel still calmly and from a place of love. You will have a much better chance of solving things calmly than screaming at the top of your lungs. I do not wish to be involved in anything that makes me so upset I have to yell to feel I have gotten my point across. Yelling makes you lose your voice for a reason the natural way to shush you.

Calm down, let it go, and ask yourself is it worth writing?

What are some healthy ways you deal with anger?

I have come to love quiet time in a world that never is silent I need silence. I used to be scared to be alone in silence but it is one of the best times of my day. I love to meditate, do yoga, read a book, walk in nature, look at art, colour, paint, create, and just lay still for a couple of minutes and observe my breath. I ask for a few minutes each day that belong just to me. I need to let things go in those moments. Healing time.

Control your breathing, control your mind, and control your words.

Never let a moment of written anger haunt you for the rest of your life or someone else’s life. Use your words in calm, kind, and loving ways. Do your best!

If you know me, you know I love pumpkin- everything! As soon as October hits, I am drinking all things pumpkin, all the smells in my house become pumpkin, and my favorite thing about Halloween is carving pumpkins. I am thankful this year that Starbucks made a pumpkin chai I lost a lot of money on that deal but if you got to watch me sip that delightful beverage and dance a little you know. When I love something, I am eating or drinking I start to dance I think my happy heart can’t help but show it.

We usually have a fall family tradition of going on the last caddy cruise to a family friend’s pumpkin patch and filling the car with pumpkins. I typically carve and try to beat my previous year’s record for how many pumpkins I can get to eat other pumpkins. We usually end up with a large selection of pumpkins to fill the caddy trunk at a friends and family discount.

This year was a bit different; it was sad at first, but life is forever changing. Last season my dad was in the hospital, but my son and I still did the caddy cruised and got the pumpkins we both agreed it was weird without Papa. My dad has since moved to a care home and I sold the beloved caddy (I don’t want to talk about it, still heartbroken) she was too much work for me to upkeep and too heartbreaking it was a love we shared. I admit looking over and not seeing my dad as my co-pilot broke my heart.

This year Halloween crept up on us and we found ourselves the night before rushing to buy and carve pumpkins; we didn’t get to the family friend’s place sorry! We did donate to a good cause and carve some pretty cool-looking pumpkins. I forgot to mention to my boyfriend I am competitive in creating the best pumpkin. I couldn’t find smaller pumpkins, so I had to change my carving idea, and I was a bit devastated. I was left last minute searching for what to do and I didn’t love it.

This year for Halloween my son went as my brother’s best friend who is a mechanic that he adores. Both scary and heartwarming. He said he wasn’t going to go out because his tradition is to go with his cousin who is away this year. He changed his mind last minute and came home with a huge haul of candy which I have been taxing heavily. If you parent tax, you know what I mean! I convinced Dan when he was little that he wouldn’t like Cheetos and that peanut butter cups were too spicy! I am that mom.

While I miss the old family fall traditions, I look forward to the new ones we are creating. While Dan was collecting candy I watched the second most bizarre movie of my life. My boyfriend’s tradition is to watch Rocky Horror Picture Show. I am trying to incorporate him into our family, so I appreciated he carved and shared laughs creating pumpkins. I stared at him with a confused look trying to understand why so many people enjoy this movie. I can’t wait to watch it next year. Does it ever make more sense? When do I stop singing the catchy songs? I did love that meatloaf is in the movie.

When I think of why I love the fall season it is because the sights with all the leaves changing beautiful colours delight my soul. Everywhere you look it is so pretty. The fall drives take my breath away. For 25 years my dad and I always took a caddy cruise to take in the colour changes. I will forever hold those memories close to my heart. This year while not planned for a fall cruise I ended up taking a fall tour caddy route in my Jetta while not as nice of a car the views were amazing. My boyfriend was my co-pilot who like my dad was telling me such rich history about where we were driving and as the old memories and new memories flooded me, I had such a full heart.

Halloween is still one of my favourite times, while I dislike being scared, I love pumpkin carving, eating mini candies, and making memories. As my doorbell rang each time with more kids, I ran to see what they were. I live in a small community on a dead-end street, so I appreciate those who put in the effort to stop by. You all made my night!

While the summer heat is what I crave the fall colours will forever be one of my favourtie sights. I look forward to fall and the traditions of October while they have changed, I am making the decision to put away my sad caddy tears and instead be thankful that I shared 25 years of fall cruises. To embrace the change and be thankful for those who come to carve pumpkins, sing songs, and eat cupcakes. I am thankful for the memories I have created and the ones still to come. This year while the tradition changed my heart was still full. We created such wonderful memories. You choose how to deal with the day. I could have skipped the fall traditions and just been sad trust me I kind of wanted to. I didn’t think it would be the same and I was right, it wasn’t the same, but it was everything I needed. I did my best and I made it the best it could be.

My son also learned the lesson that when tradition changes and when you are sad cousin isn’t here for Halloween you could sulk and have no fun or you could slap a costume together and go out with friends, start a new tradition, and get me my spicy peanut butter cups!

For a moment we wanted to skip I love that we both made it the best it could be. Do your best!

 

 

 

Growing up we used to have a piece of artwork in our hallway that was blue and white and appeared to be rug hooked. It said, “Home is where the heart is”. As a child, I never understood the significance of this picture. The image has stuck with me my whole life. I have always looked to find that same artwork piece to hang in my house. The search continues.

I was blessed to have spent 17 years growing up in my childhood home. I had the best neighbours around. I grew up in a small town on a safe little street.  My family and friends surrounded me. I was heartbroken to leave that house and the memories that had been made. I was thankful to have a childhood in which we were not moving around. Even though we moved the next place still felt like home because my loved ones were near.

My childhood home has sold several times over the twenty-plus years since our family moved. The last time it was for sale I took the online for sale tour with my brother and our mom. We sat in awe trying to figure out which room was which. We chatted about the decor, the colours and the changes. We laughed and shared many memories of the good old days when it was our home. The home now, while the outside looks the same, the inside is nothing as I remember as a child, but I can see the love and adjustments people have made over the years. The listing price is much higher than when my mom sold. I love that this home probably holds memories for many. This house will always make me smile and remember my Opa who helped build the home from an old school house into our home. I am thankful for the childhood memories I had in that home, and I am trying to create that same home feeling for my son in his childhood home. I may have come from what was referred to as a “broken home” and I may have carried that curse over to my son but like my mom did you make it the best you can. You never know how strong you are until being strong is your only option. I know my strength. I am strong!

I moved to my current home a little over eight years ago. I never would have dreamed I would own a home alone as a single mother. I know my strength. I knew my people would help me.  I think of all the changes our home has gone through and how blessed we are to share this life in this house. I am beyond grateful that our home is where our hearts are and that my son loves where we live as much as I do. I moved to another small town, and family surrounds me and my best friend who is currently only a couple streets over and soon to make me an auntie!! Bring on the baby snuggles.

As a child, I used to draw the house of my dreams and it wasn’t a giant mansion, it was a simple two-story house with windows and a door placed a certain way. It was managable and had a view. When I think of those drawings, I realize I drew this house we live in. I have the water view I always dreamed of.  I guess it is true that you should be careful what you put out to the universe.

I am so thankful to have changed the way I look at life and embraced all the good in my life. I am grateful that many years ago a family friend mentioned how Louise Hay changed her life, and her work changed everything about the way I was living. I have a grateful heart and appreciate so many people helping me to where I am today. I love my life. I can make choices that keep moving my life ahead. I am so excited to embrace what comes next. I put out to the universe what I wanted, and it has delivered.

Home is where the heart is… for me has come to mean that it is more about the people who make you feel like home to be around and less about the walls that surround you. I am thankful for my house, but I am most thankful for my people. It is less about what you have and more about who you have. I am so loved and so thankful to be back writing and for all the loving people who reached out and chatted with me this last week. My heart is so full!

Home is where my heart is and the people who make me feel like home in your heart.

I am going to update and create a sign saying that for our house and hope that my son sees the meaning and carries it with him for a lifetime ❤️

Where is it that you feel most at home?

I recently finished a book titled “If you would have told me” by John Stamos. Yes, if you are thinking why does that name sound familiar? He was Uncle Jesse on Full House. The adorable show took up a huge part of my life in the late 80s. If you don’t know this show, we cannot be friends. I love the title of his book, and it made me reflect on my life and the many moments just this year alone I thought to myself if you would have told me this was going to happen, I never would have believed you. If you haven’t read this book, I highly recommend it. Not only does he have an interesting and amazing life story it will make you reflect a lot on your own life.

This last year has been a challenge if you would have told me that at 66 years old, I would be putting my dad in a long-term care home and crying over all the decisions I have had to make as his POA I never would have believed you. I thought my dad would be on his river property until he was in his 90s yelling at me that it was his god-given right to stay there. This last year I have cried so many tears. I had to make decisions about him I never thought I would have to make, and it ripped my heart out. I reflect and try to see the good that I have accomplished, the lessons I learned, the growth I experienced, and how these changes prepared me for moving forward in life. I stop to enjoy life and create as many memories as I can. Life is short and you never know what could happen. Live your best life and do all the things you want to do. I have caught myself repeating “Do your best and if your best isn’t good enough fuck it.” I often stop and wonder what my Opa’s advice would be with all the choices I have had to make. I hope he is looking down at me smiling.

If you would have told me that my brother, sister-in-law and only niece were going to leave and sail away for a year I wouldn’t have believed you I would have thought the idea was crazy but here I am following the journey on a map reading his blog and soaking up all the memories they are making. I am in complete awe that they pulled it off and it reminds me that if you want to do something anything is possible. Make it happen! Check out his journey at: https://sailing.eccentric.one/

If you would have told me that I knew what love was before this year I would have laughed in your face. After a breakup that left me in a state of what the fuck, I am adopting a dog, only to have a Friday message that was a blast from the past and forever changed my life. If you would have told me that a job I worked at and disliked 16 years ago would have led me to my soul mate and knowing who he was than and who he is now I would have laughed in your face. Yet here I am feeling sorry for the previous people I “loved” because I didn’t know what love was until you loved me! How one message can change your world. I promise to write more soon. I am still in shock. If I am in a coma, please leave me this is the happiest I have ever been.

If you would have told me that my son would be on call to the OR for a weird knee growth after two broken arms well actually this one I would have believed the boy is hard to keep in one piece. Please send bubble wrap!

If you would have told me I would take a chance and change careers this late in life I am not sure I would have believed this but I have come to believe that when you are passionate about what you do it is less like work. I leaped and it paid off. I am thankful I trusted my gut and I am reminded why change is a good thing. I am thankful to be home with my lake view office window, no commute, no parking and better money. I am reminded when I put my mind to it I can accomplish my dreams.

I started 2024 with tears in my eyes. I have had a wild year. One filled with twists and turns and a lifetime of both happy and sad tears but going into 2025 I would call this a successful year.  My heart is so full. I just had two amazing Thanksgiving dinners, and I am reminded it is less about everyone else and more about the people in the chairs around the table. I am thankful to be surrounded by amazing people and so much love and support.

If you would have told me I would fall a year behind on my blogs I never would have believed it but time has flown by it has been a year but I want to get back into writing it is something I have always loved and I thank everyone who has helped me and hurt me in 2024 as it got me to exactly where I need to be and I am loving my life more now than ever. More to come again soon back to the Tuesday vibes. Miss you all tons and love you lots!

What is your “if you would have told me” moment?

 

I haven’t forgotten about you all!

Happy Halloween 🎃

I love the tradition of carving pumpkins and the creative zone my son goes into. He takes carving pumpkins seriously. He plans out his designs long in advance. I am thankful we have a family friend who grows amazing pumpkins.

I love pumpkins but I do not love to be scared and I have only seen a couple scary movies. I prefer hugs and positivity over the feeling of being scared. Least favourite feeling.

I love any time I get to share with my boy and for all our traditions. Life has gotten busy lately. I made the decision to switch jobs to a have a more stable schedule, to always have my boy home with me. Everyday I look at this kid I can’t believe how blessed I am to be his mom. He’s growing up way to fast. Every minute I can enjoy trust me I do. I want him to have so many amazing moments to reflect back on. Making memories each and every day.

When I was a kid my parents always took me up and down our street trick or treating as grandparents my moms in charge of costume design and her grandkids keep her busy. My dad was always in charge to caddy cruise for pumpkins. This year has been different and leaves a bit of a hole in my heart. Everyone is aging too quickly. Time slow down!

Truth is I haven’t been writing because my dad has not been well and has been in hospital for many weeks. I started to notice many months ago his health was failing its been a challenging time. I am trying to support and make the right decisions but as an overthinker it has been weighing heavy on my heart. I have always had an interesting relationship with my dad and this situation causes me worry. I wake every night with panic. Am I doing the right thing? Who put me in charge? Being a POA is a wild responsiblity just throw on you without permission. I know my dad always trusted I would make the right decisions. A wise man told me to do my best and I strive for this everyday and if he doesn’t like it, fuck it!

Life doesn’t come with instructions and on my hardest days I wish I could call heaven. I was raised that family is important and I always step up when someone needs something. We have always stuck together through tick and thin and I will always support my people.

I am beyond thankful to everyone who has reached out and sent kind words, for all the hugs. I am thankful for family, friend and coworkers your kindness and love means the world to me.

Nothing fixes life problems like hundreds of mini chocolate bars. Cheers to charging the kiddos parent tax enjoy! I will do my best to retun to wrtiting I have missed it.

I hope to see all the costume posts they always bring a smile to my face. Thanks for being my community of lovely people!

 

This sweet smiley face is my favorite rescue story. Miss Kelso, you gave us the scare of a lifetime last week. I didn’t sleep for 72 hours and I prayed you would be okay. You kept handing me your right paw like Charlie did and I cried a lot of ugly big tears.

I am thankful that even though I woke Gran up she worried with me and did all the right things to save your life. If it wasn’t for Gran I am not sure you would be sitting with me as I write how grateful I am.

One split second can change your life. Every decision you make can change your life.

Lately, my life’s been a blur as I have been sick and multi-tasking far too many things. I feel like I have lost my mind and my family is sick of checking if I turned things off in my house. Lack of sleep I swear is melting my mind.

Last Tuesday I went to bed and I couldn’t sleep I was restless, overthinking, and having a bad feeling in my gut I just couldn’t put my finger on why I was feeling like this. I was up and down all night. When I finally got up and let you out for your morning pee is when I noticed the mess on the kitchen floor at first I laughed at it thinking will our kitten even not get in trouble? He earned the nickname bagel butts after eating 3 whole everything bagels off the counter and leaving his little human without his favorite breakfast food. He keeps us laughing and cleaning but it is all worth if for his sweet cuddles.

This morning as I started to clean up I quickly noticed in the dog bed was covered in a mess everything but the cob. I was starting to think I had lost my mind no way could this sweet corgi have eaten the whole thing. Could this be happening? I searched everywhere but no cob. Full panic mode! I was sick with worry but we got through it thank goodness.

Queen Kelso as your name tag reads, I can’t imagine life without you bossing us around. You have come to be very sweet and always snuggling me knowing I am not feeling my best. The last couple of years have been challening with people passing as my circle gets smaller I am thankful for those who are still with me. I am thankful for Gran answering my early morning calls filled with tears and for always knowing what to do!  I am thankful as I write this blog that I have a kitty smacking at my moving fingers on one side of me and sweet old corgi laying her hears beside me handing me her paw to hold. Charlie always gave me what I called the comfort paw. 

For those of you who don’t know Kelso’s rescue story Dan found her off a website called rescueme mere hours after Charlie had passed. When he was looking up facts about his friends dog. This site is mostly dogs in the USA but the only corgi in Canada was just over an hour away and looked very similar to Charlie. We came to find out they share the same birthday the same personality and must be related? Once we  met Kelso she picked us immediately and despite me saying I am never getting another dog she changed my view on the world once again and from behind her leash. I came to believe in miracles and she keeps me believing. Kelso the dog with 9 lives we have so many more adventures to take. Thank you for being our Queen!