Author: sascha

Oldie…

The dream of writing a book has been in my head since I was a kid. Recently I signed up for a week’s writing course through Hay House. Louise Hay was a huge inspiration in my life. The first time I attended a Hay House convention they were talking about a writer’s course and if you were the lucky book picked they would make you a published Hay House Author. That has been my dream now for years. I am going to write this book I have in mind, no matter what happens. I always love to dream. The dream of being a published Hay House Author is my book dream.

I was listening to the zoom conference on replay because with shift work I missed every one of the live chats but the first one. Thankful they have the video replay.

The conference was on zoom with Reid Tracy now CEO of Hay House and Kelly Notara’s. They definitely got me thinking and threw a wrench into my book idea. I now have a clearer idea of what I wanna present. Back to the writing board I go. I know it will all come together and this will be the book of my dreams. I can do it!

Since I was a kid, as soon as I could write, I have been dreaming of a book. I always knew my book would somehow be centered around my love on animals. I have always felt like I could communicate much better with animals than with people. I understand the messages from animals.

In the conference they were talking about a first book might be the book before your book. This made me nervous I don’t want this book to be that kind of book. I want this to be THE book. Then I remembered wait this would be my second book. When I was around 10 years old I wrote a horse themed book complete with a hardcover that was made of wallpaper. I began to wonder whatever happened to that book?

Great news, while looking for something completely unrelated in my storage area low and behold I found my first book. Complete with hardcover made out of flowered wall paper. It’s bound together with a combination of staples and duct tape, my go to supplies. It is an original first edition copy that didn’t make the best sellers list. It is titled Oldie locks and the 5 ponies and my pony dawn says it’s a great read on a Saturday or Sunday. I figured as an adult people always worked during the week and spent all weekend reading. I dedicated it to my Opa and Lauren a.k.a Granny. I spent most of my childhood on the farm and the reason I thought I could, and still do, communicate with animals is because of Granny. She has an unbelievable way with animals.

The story takes you on a journey of my love of horses and my fear even as a kid of getting old. The book starts and I describe how Oldie puts on wrinkle cream every morning because even as a kid I was terrified of getting wrinkles and being an old lady. I don’t say how old Oldie is in the book but I would have said in her 30’s if you asked me then, that’s as long as I thought people lived.

In the book I have 4 ponies in the barn. Dawn was my pony growing up she healed my heart from all my little kid problems that I thought were life ending. She was my very best friend and the reason I wrote the book. The other pony named in the book is Kherry which was grannies horse when I was a kid. She was an Arabian horse with a huge personality of her own. I made up the other fictional ponies in this story and I laugh now they are named Anna and Dan which are now the names of my best friend and my son.

In the ten page book I talk about my dog Kelly who was a Dalmatian and grannies dog Sky a boarder collie always coming to the barn. I am shocked to walk in on Anna and Dawn talking. I thought talking horses would blow the readers mind. I also secretly wished my pony Dawn could have talked to me. The book ends with Anna having a foal which I named Prince and it ends with me telling the readers he dies at 35. Truth be told I thought everyone animal or human died at 35. I typed out all 10 pages and did my own art work. I probably should have invested in someone else to do the art. Wow, my people and horse drawing skills.

In the back of the book it says that I wrote it at age 11. I am so very glad to have found this gem in storage. My son is now reading the book and asking me so many questions.

I am excited to be writing another book where I still believe animals teach us lessons of life. I am happy to report I no longer believe everyone dies in their 30’s, oh goodness. I am thankful that in this book I won’t have to use my amazing lack of art skills to portray my message.

I am thankful for the writing convention that threw a wrench into my book plan but put me on a clearer path. I don’t know when the book will be done. I guess that will be when my message is out the way I want it to be. It is a work in progress. I am excited and enjoying the journey.

I am thinking about doing guest blog spots so I can focus all my writing time into my book. Would anyone wanna do a guest blog? Reach out to me via e-mail. If I can blog you can too! It’s been a great experience sharing with you all.

Letter C

This blog is brought you by the letter c.

Some of the things I love the most start with the letter C. I was making a list of what I am grateful for like I often do and I noticed most of the things I Love start with the letter C. I love Corgis, Cadillacs, cake, coffee, crying and cuddles.

Most of my life I cursed the fact that my parents spelled my name with a “unique” silent letter C. I feel like I was forever telling people how to pronounce and spell my name.

Corgis. The queen’s dog. I have had the absolute joy of having my heart dog for 8 beautiful years. Charleston forever saved my life. He was the one animal that knew exactly what I needed when I felt I couldn’t go on. I planned to take my life and he saved my life. When he passed he left I giant hole in my heart. Without him I felt I couldn’t go on. The crying and over thinking about his passing hurt my soul. I believe in miracles and then we found Kelsey the corgi who’s original name was Chelsea. The C is healing my heart. She is the drama Queen and constantly makes us laugh and bosses us around. She picked us and I will forever be grateful for all the time we share. I am forever grateful for all the people and their corgis that have come into my life as a result of my corgis. I have the best corgi family!

My love of Cadillacs comes from my dad. He purchased a Cadillac just as I was getting my license. Over the last twenty years we have shared a lot of fun, random road trips, memories and even some tears in the Caddy. That car has brought me so much joy. Each and every time my butt hits the blue crushed velour driver seat I am the happiest I could be. Caddy cruising is where it’s at. Thank you to everyone has taken a cruise with me and who have sang the Caddy song with me. Cheers! Here’s too many more random road trips.

Cake. I freaking love cake! From the first birthday cake my Oma (grandma) ever made I was hooked. I honestly cannot live without cake. When I moved out on my own I used to go to the store and buy cakes. Sometimes I even had them personalize them with a name, not a real person’s name and I ate it. If there is a rehab for cake addiction I need to go. I love any get together that has a cake. If you’re having cake count me in. I will say that no one ever made the “butter cake” like my Oma. I looked forward to that cake each and every birthday. I do love all kinds of cake but cheesecake has to be my top! I haven’t had a cheesecake I didn’t like. I have driven all over in search of the best cake. I honestly wouldn’t admit if I found it. I will continue searching my whole life and eating all the cakes.

Coffee. I cannot function without coffee. I love a good fancy coffee or a flavoured coffee. I like my coffee with milk or whip cream but not just regular cream. I start each day with a cup of coffee and most of the day I can be found sipping coffee. I am always drinking coffee while I write. I come from a whole family of coffee drinkers. I honestly do not understand how people function without coffee. I love the smell, the taste, the kick of energy, feeling that I can take on whatever task I need to get done. My son will tell you don’t talk to me until my morning coffee is done.

Crying. I have cried so many tears in my lifetime I am shocked I haven’t drown. I have a huge heart. I love hard but I also feel heartbreak hard. I feel so much better after a cry. Big puffy eyes. I believe it’s better to get your feeling out then hold them in. No shame in crying. I do find though that it’s best to cry in the Cadillac. The crushed velour soaks up the tears so much faster than any other fabric. I am forever thankful when my heart was destroyed my corgi Charleston licked up my tears and always cuddled with me.

Cuddles. Some of my best cuddles I shared with someone I thought would love me forever. That changed but my love of cuddles didn’t. I have my corgi cuddles. Kelsey cuddles the same way Charleston did with her head on my shoulder. First time she did that you can guarantee I teared up. I have to admit that my ultimate favourite cuddles are baby cuddles. The kind of cuddles that make your arms go numb but you wouldn’t dare move. I am so thankful for friends with babies who let me cuddle. I am always available. Being tall has it perks most babies fall asleep cuddling me. I walk around for a few minutes and bam they pass out hard. I think it’s because being so high up the air quality makes them sleepy. That’s been a joke with friends for years. Recently I had cake and baby cuddles. Best day ever!

When I can combine things from the list of c’s that I love it’s an even better day. I often have a corgi in the Cadillac, or coffee or a cry, sometimes all the above. I can’t bring myself to eat in the car and I hear it’s distracted driving if you cuddle and drive.

I am SasCha. I am unique. I have a list of C’s that I love. I am grateful for all the corgis, Cadillacs, cake, coffee, crying and cuddles that have brought me close to the people in my life. My heart is so full and I am so grateful.

Chance to change….

I was having a conversation with my Opa (grandpa) while I was doing the interview for man behind the motto part two. Opa shared with me how he got into building. My whole life Opa has been building or dreaming of building something. If he hasn’t already built it then you can find the plans of what he wants to build on his desk. He is always pitching the next great building idea. His imagination runs wild. You can see his passion when he talks about building.

My childhood home was an old school house he flipped into a lovely family home. Growing up it was a mansion to me. It had everything you could dream of. It had the most beautiful windows in the back facing the creek. It was the perfect childhood family home on a quiet street in a small town. I lived in this house for seventeen years and I was utterly heartbroken when we left. I can still remember my entire address and phone number despite having moved many times since then.

Opa didn’t build the house I live in today but he helped me find it and purchase it. I trusted his expert advice that it was a great home. He hasn’t been wrong. My son and I love this house. It’s on an even quieter street than the one I grew up on and the lake is just steps away. My son has informed me he is never moving out. It’s our slice of paradise. Thank you Opa.

At the time of his first house flipping project Opa was living in Pickering Ontario on the shores of Lake Ontario. He was working at Johns Manville plant which manufactured asbestos cement pipes for the construction industry. He worked at this plant for ten years, which later was the beginning of investigation of the dangers of asbestos to the health of workers. Most workers became ill or died due to asbestosis or meseothelioma. While working at the asbestos plant Opa’s mother and brother in Germany sold a property and he received five thousand dollars, which he says forever changed his life. He described it as big money at the time. Opa used that five thousand dollars as a down payment to purchase what he described as a” mansion” in Whitby Ontario. He flipped this house by renovating it into a four plex which he later sold and made a profit. Being that it was some forty plus years ago he doesn’t remember exactly how much money he made. This is what started his building career. He’s gone on to build so many houses and apartment buildings I have lost track of them all.

When I asked if he remembered what the mansion looked like, he went on to paint me a picture of a big red brick house with a steeple like top. He couldn’t remember the exact street address. He didn’t have a picture. He could tell me it was located on a street by the lawn bowling center and a senior’s retirement home. He described the things he remembered from the street and where the house was situated. The hill you had to climb and that the house was on the corner on the right hand side.

Mission accepted. I wanted to find this mansion. I wanted to see the house that started it all. I got a cup of coffee and turned to google street view and quickly got to work. Street view is an amazing tool, you can take a trip down memory lane. I started with locating the area he described and then I went up and down the streets in search of this house. I am happy to say I found it. I am now trying to figure out the history of what it’s selling price has been. It seems that houses in the area go for upwards of 600,000. It’s a rental property and I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s worth well over a million.

I was talking to my mom about this house story, asking her what she remembered from this time. She would have been nearing her teen years. She often talks about her childhood home in Pickering as being the most beautiful home. It was on Lake Ontario and had a pool. We drove there once, the house is no longer there but the view was spectacular.

While I was talking about how five thousand dollars changed Opa’s life my mom shared with me how she received five thousand dollars from her grandpa (her mom’s dad) when he passed away that forever changed her life. She used that money for her divorce and as a down payment to put herself through nursing school. I still to this day do not know how my mom went to nursing school with two small children. You go girl.

I found it interesting that both my Opa and my mother would say that five thousand dollars forever changed their lives.
I don’t have a great five thousand dollar story to end this blog. I have always been blessed with help from my wonderful family. I have always had a job that’s provided me with enough money to afford my life. I am grateful for all the help I have received along the way and I try to pay it forward whenever I can. I always joke about winning the lotto but the truth is my life is so beautiful, my heart is so full no amount of money could possibly make it better.

I find it very interesting that when Opa began to realize the potential hazards of his job at Johns-Manville when he saw the men around him dying and getting sick, he suddenly had a chance to change his life with that $5000. When my mom’s marriage was crumbling and no real profession to support her and her children on her own, she suddenly had a chance to change her life with that $5000. So I guess I can all I can conclude is that if things look bad be ready to make your life change when the opportunity comes along.

I do…

These two simple words, I do, I have promised to say on more than one occasions but I never followed through. I have touched on this subject before but I am a run-away bride. I have planned the whole wedding down to every small detail and then I run. I once ran so far I left the province I have always called my home. I can say running will not solve your problems. Problems follow you wherever you go.

I have been lost. I have struggled. My life has not worked out like I planned. I have not found my forever, my happily ever after.

As a kid I danced around in a fluffy pink ball gown dress dreaming of my wedding. I dreamed of being married. I dreamed of my fairy tale day.

I have dreamed.

I have failed.

I do believe that my happily ever after exists. I do believe in love. I believe the right person will one day find me, at this point I think he’s lost but who am I to rush. I wonder and I dream how we will meet. Have we met? Who knows. That is the journey of life. I made it this far on my own I am in no hurry.

I admit today I love my life. I have created a life I celebrate. I am excited to take on each day. I want to share my hopes, dream, failures, successes and lessons learned. I am not ashamed.

I do not regret my past I embrace it for it has made me into the fierce woman I am today. I am grateful for all my failures. My failures have lead me to where I am today. I am fulfilling my dreams. I am no longer scared. I have a better understanding of what I want from life because of the love I have experienced.

I am grateful to have experienced love, it was not forever but it helped my heart see the good in the world and in the people I have met.

I admit I am a hopeless romantic. I love romantic movies that brings me to tears. I love weddings that make me cry. Love hits me right in the feelings and I love a good happy, sappy ending. I one hundred percent do “ugly cry” at real weddings too. I love an exchange of vows that just grabs your heart strings and makes you feel like they have found forever. Also wedding cake, let’s be serious, I freaking love cake.

I have failed many times over at love. I am thankful for each relationship that came into my life the good, bad and the down-right ugly. Every relationship opened my eyes up to what I want in life. Each person taught me so much about myself and what I am thankful for.

I have had to heal my heart from the damage done. I had to let go of what I feared to let go of. My heart has been left empty. I have felt heart break. Letting go, forgiving and self-love are some of the hardest lessons to learn. I guarantee they are the most freeing. I feel so much lighter and yet my heart is so full.

I let go.

I forgive.

I love myself.

I am loved.

I have created a life filled with love. I open the door to my house and I am instantly surrounded by love. I love where I live. My son is the most amazing lovable little boy. He tells me millions of times a day how much he loves me. He writes me little love note reminders. He makes my heart full. I never knew the love of a mother until you came into my life. I am a single mother and so I get double the amount of love.

My dog Charleston taught me what unconditional love from an animal was. He was my heart dog. He saved my life. When he passed he left the biggest hole in my heart I wasn’t sure I could ever fill. That was of course until his sister Queen Kelsey came into our lives. I am beyond grateful for her wild adventures. Life has an amazing way of giving your heart the love you need if you’re open to it.

I have once again opened my heart.

I may not have said “I do” to someone forever, not yet. The great search continues, but I have filled my heart with self-love. Love from my family. Love from my friends. Love from my corgis. I have the greatest family, friends and corgis. Thank you to each and every one of you! I love you all so very much.

Be sure to tell those in your life how much you love them.

Tomorrow is never promised, so love and appreciate the people who are in your life.

Make the call….

This blog is a follow-up to in a world of texting answer your phone. If you have not read that blog click here to enjoy now. I am phone obsessed!

Being on the phone makes me happy. Hearing your voice fills me with joy. Seeing your number on my phone makes me smile. I am happiest when I am talking on the phone. I make time every single day to talk on the phone. Don’t get me wrong, I do love the convenience and time saving ways of modern technology. I do text and I do e-mail but it always seems too impersonal. I can’t hear your voice. I can’t understand your tone. I love to hold the phone and pace around my house catching up. Nothing makes me smile like being on the phone. From sun up to sun down you will find my minutes on my phone tallying up and I couldn’t be happier.

I have had many jobs working on the phone. I was a telemarketer who once called you probably during supper or some other inconvenient time. I swear that is the only time they call. I sold all kinds of things from panty hose to encyclopedias all around the world. Alright, moment of truth maybe not all around the world but all the parts that speak English. I have always dreamed of learning some other languages. I love the sounds of other languages. The allure and wonder what you could be saying when I don’t understand, is dreamy. However learning a language is much harder than I thought. I have tried. Let’s be honest, I still struggle to get all the parts of the English language correct. I will admit cold calling numbers was a heck of an eye opening experience, if you ever wanna be told off in multiple languages this is the job for you. I did however despite the setbacks of the job manage to hold top sales for a number of weeks before I quit. I made quotes and even got bonuses, all from doing what I love, having random conversations on the phone. Little less fun when you have to read a script but I think I rocked it. I did end up quitting to further my schooling; I didn’t think I would be able to sell things over the phone forever as a career. Do people still buy things over the phone? I will say this job taught me a lot about myself. For the people who took the time to chat and not treat me rudely or slam the phone down. Thank you.

I worked for a couple years in an inbound call center. I was one of the first hires for a new exciting local company doing cell phone support. I was part of the process of the activation of phones for dealers. I spent most of my days talking to cell phone customers about their bills and technical difficulties. No one is ever happy to get a high cell phone bill or have a phone malfunction. In today’s times everyone’s cell phone is their life line. I was doing tech support in the cool days of the razor phone. Anyone remember the razor? Or did I just again age myself? I will admit this call center job taught me a great deal about cell phones. I learned to speak the lingo to get discounts on my cell phone bill, which I still use. I met some of the greatest co-workers and even some who 20 years later are still friends. I did my best to make this repetitive job fun! I have to say this job was my happy place in terms of talking on the phone. If only the calls weren’t recorded and I could have had actual conversations. Thanks to everyone who made this job great! Cheers to co-workers who became life long friends.

Most of my other jobs have been with dealing with people directly, which, don’t get me wrong, I also enjoy, but just not as much as talking on the phone. There is just a certain dream like quality when you can only hear a voice. I guess you could say I have a vivid imagination and I like to paint a picture of who I am talking to.

At my current hospital office admin job I like to call my co-workers in different departments and just say hi, check in and maybe plan to take a break together. I enjoy these chats!

For my positive life coach business and my blogs I absolutely love when you call to discuss. I have had some of the greatest phone conversations and stories shared about my blogs. Each and every call touches my heart. Thank you!

I make time to phone my grandparents every day even if it’s just for a minute. Seniors check-up as we call it. They keep me up to date with what’s going on in the family and in the world. I don’t watch the news. I have never been one for watching the news. I enjoy more positive stories.

Especially now in this wild time of Covid-19 I encourage you to make the call. Pick up the phone, reach out and check in on someone. Catch up with an old friend or family. Call someone just to hear their voice and say hello! Let people know you miss them and love them. Tomorrow is not promised so remember today is your day!

The man behind the motto…Part 2

Here is a link to man behind the motto if you haven’t read it.

As I sat down to interview, well okay maybe not interview as much as ask the man behind the motto my Opa (grandpa) some important life questions. I pitched this blog idea to him awhile back and he agreed. I figured he’s the wisest senior I know and why not share his knowledge with all of you. I had an idea of what I wanted to ask him and write about. I had to go out to the farm to chat because he doesn’t use technology and he only spends a few minutes on the phone. If you wanna talk to the senior you meet him in his office.

The office is 2 big desks pushed together. On granny’s side of the office it’s covered in all things horses and her laptop is on her desk. On Opa’s side of the office he has family pictures all around. He doesn’t use technology so his desk is covered with his daily reflection books. I wish he would type them out on the laptop so I could read his thoughts. His mind is always going.

Before I could ask my first question Opa started telling me about his earlier life. He painted a much different world that the one we live in today. It’s a world I cannot picture. I got so lost in his story I forgot all the questions I wanted to ask. I would love to write about his journey through the war as a child and how he came to Canada but when I started typing it all out it quickly neared 10 pages. He has had a life. I think parts could be broken down into future blogs.

He talked so highly of his family throughout his life. It was bringing a tear to my eye. This is not to say he hasn’t had his struggles with family but who hasn’t.

I asked “what does family mean to you?” Opa quickly replied “everything to me, family is number one.” He always says “like you family is everything” and I have to laugh. It is everything to me because he passed this down to me. I spent most of my childhood learning from Opa. He is the glue that holds everyone together.

I asked “What was your first car?” He smiles. I think he knows I have always wanted this car. “My first car was a 1954 VW beetle. Red.”

I asked “What is your dream car?” He looked at me puzzled. “I don’t really care what I drive.” This is true. Most of my life he’s had a barely running truck. I guess I didn’t inherit my love of cars from him, ha. If only had held onto that beetle I could be cruising in style. Maybe not with heat though. He said “the damn heater never worked.”

“What is your biggest accomplishment?” “That I am still alive. I am lucky.” He is not wrong. He’s survived some pretty serious health conditions. He really does have nine lives. This answer warmed my heart. It is a huge accomplishment to make it to your 80’s. I had no idea what he would say to this question. I thought it might be a building answer or something about family. But I guess none of this could have been accomplished if it weren’t for him being alive.

“What’s one thing you wished you would have told your younger self?” Learn a trade which is needed. He has always said this will take you far in life. He is always telling his grandkids and great grandkids this.

Since he is the man behind my life’s motto I had to know “what does the motto mean to you?” Do your best and if your best isn’t good enough fuck it. His answer was perfect: “It means what it really is. When you try so hard like I do with my family, well, when it doesn’t always work out I know I did my best. I’m not going to not talk to them. Do your best and more than that you can’t do.” That folks is what it’s all about. He feels in his heart he has done his best. He almost never gives up. He just keeps going at a problem from different angles.

I struggle with sleep and so does Opa so I asked “What keeps you up at night?” “You name it he says.” Opa’s mind is always going he is always thinking about something or someone. I know I have kept him up at night before but now he would say “you’re doing alright”. Sorry for the sleepless nights. Thanks for never giving up on me!

Opa has been going to Alcoholics Anonymous for 32 years. His commitment to the program is life long. He has a huge community of people from the program. He often quotes and shares stories from AA. I have always wanted to know “What is the biggest lesson you learned from AA?” He immediately feels the hit of this question and says “Woah, the program taught me how to be a human being. Don’t lie. Don’t expect too much. Don’t give too much. Be nicer to people. When you make a deal, make sure it’s 50/50, it’s not always about you.” He wonders if being an alcoholic inheritor. He ponders some theories which kinda scare me because alcoholism runs on both sides of my family. He says “there no two ways about, it I think differently.” This answer made me smile. These are all the things I love about my Opa. I couldn’t be prouder of the man he is.

Opa and granny have been together a long time I asked “how long they had been together and what do you think is the best piece of relationship advice?” I hope one day to find a love like they share. He says “Oh granny and I have been together what 12? 13 years?” I laugh because I know it has been much longer. He shouts for granny to come to the office she quickly lays down the law it’s been 31 years. Opa pretends to be shocked and laughs “what? Really that’s way too long.” He answers what the best piece of advice is, he says, “her thinking is so different than mine. What I like so much about her is she gives facts and not dreams. Together we decide on the right thing. We compromise and come to an agreement. He says it a nice way to live.” Okay before you think that’s all sunshine and rainbows, let me tell you it’s not. They live on a farm where things can always go wrong I have seen the yelling and screaming and occasional thing throw but no one gets hurt and its always worked out. It’s been 31 years and they are an inspiration.

Granny went on to give me her life advice don’t worry I took notes and I plan to share it in a future blog.

We wrapped up our office chat, questions and shared a coffee break. I am so lucky to have such wonderful grandparents. I talk to them every day and I cherish all our memories. The life lessons these two have taught me I know will carry me far in life.

Thank you seniors for your daily phone calls and doses of wisdom!

Believe in yourself and what you are doing and you will go far in life…

In 2005 I was in college for Corrections. I never dreamed of working as a prison guard like the degree is usually used for. I dreamed of working in programs to help rehabilitate offenders. I always wanted to help. In my last year of college I did two placements that forever changed my life and the way I view offenders.

My first placement was with Canadian Families and Corrections Network. I was able to go into the federal prisons in the Kingston area. I got to experience how visitors enter to visit, including the process of being searched. I was okay with this until you can’t touch the search dog. But the dog was always so darn handsome. I was able to be a part of family visitation days. I would join in the visiting areas by the inmates and family members. I would meet with families who were faced with the most unimaginable futures. I was lucky enough to be able to experience family days and see the love. I helped with the children’s programs. I met so many sweet children who made me some of the most amazing art. I was able to see how inmates are placed upon arrival and the programs available to them from schooling to drugs and alcohol programs. This was an eye opening experience to say the least.

My second placement was at a place called Bridge House. The house was for families of inmates. It has since closed down but it was a non-profit, government home that was around for more than twenty years. It was founded by a federal inmate’s wife who saw the need for support and affordable accommodations. The cost per night in 2005 I believe was $15.00. The kitchen you soon understood was the heart of the home. The visitors, staff and women of the community came together and shared meals and stories. I had great conversations and tears with some of the most amazing women I have met to date. I even learned how to cook a few meals. The guests at Bridge House could make local phone calls and receive collect calls from the prisons. It also offered transportation to the prisons in the area. It was a much needed service and after its closure was greatly missed. I am so thankful I had the opportunity to have my placement here. I saw the need for this house.

While doing this placement I met a lady who I clicked with instantly. I ended up helping her relocate to Kingston. She allowed me to help with her prison wedding. I got to know her and always looked forward to our time together. She made my days brighter. When she left Bridge House I broke some rules and hid a gift for her because deep in my heart I knew it was the last time I would see her. She hid a notebook for me which was purple butterflies, my absolute favourite. I would like to share the note she wrote to me. It’s one I read often and I wish I knew where she was today!

“Dear Sascha, Just a little thank you for helping me. It’s been a pleasure being with you. Your light humour is wonderful and it helped me through some rough days. Much thanks!

“Now listen up here” ha ha Ok a few more ha has is always good!

Believe in yourself and what you are doing and you will go far in this life. I told you from the first time we talked that you were special and guess what? You still are. The skies the limit for you. Take what you can get from it and go for it.

All the best to you, the future looks bright and sunny for you. It’s yours for the taking.”

She had such beautiful penmanship. She then signed the letter and disappeared. This letter has survived 15 years with me through every move I have made. I think of all the laughs we shared. She also had an amazing sense of humour. We shared so many laughs and a few tears. Her life story was inspiring and I am honoured she shared it with me. She always used to say to me “now listen up here” and when I read that I can hear her voice and see her face, forever frozen in my memory. I cherish how kind she and her husband were to me. I never met him but he always used to chat when he called. She believed in me way before I believed in myself and I wish I could give her a big hug and say thank you! You forever changed my life in the most positive ways and 15 years later I still think of you. I hope you are doing fabulous!

Recently I made a list of all the positive people who changed my life and you were right there at the top. Not everyone on my list is still in my life but for those times we shared and your inspiring messages thank you. I am such a lucky woman!

Be kind with your words you never know who will hold onto them. Tell people how much you love them. Life is wild you may never get another chance. Today is your day!

Anything is possible…

When you said these three words to me it brought tears to my eyes. I tuck my son into bed and we always have this cute goodnight that warms my heart. I always say “I love you son” to which he says “I love you more mom” Then I say “I love you the most” He says “I love you even more than you think” I say “I love you even more than you know” He says “I love you more than that” I usually just laugh and say goodnight and smother him in kisses but tonight I said “That’s not possible I love you the most” He only heard that’s not possible and he grabbed my face and said “Ma, anything is possible”

My son is an old soul who never ever stops talking. I have had a headache since 2013, ha. Yes, he even talks in his sleep. Sometimes he says something and it really makes me stop and think. After he told me anything is possible he went on to list a million things that are possible, probably just conning me into staying up later but I admit it was adorable and it worked.

I love his attitude towards life. He does honestly believe that whatever he puts his mind to he can do and I never want him to lose this ability.

Believe in your dreams.

When it comes right down to it, in life, if you believe anything is possible this attitude will be the fuel you need to succeed. This is the attitude that will make you unstoppable.

Most of my life I believed I was worthless and I wouldn’t amount to much in life. I was just waiting around to die. I convinced myself nothing was possible and this shitty life was all I was ever going to have. I wasted day in and day out. I wasted away at dead end jobs. I wasted away in relationships that were toxic. I just hoped every day I woke up it would be my last day. I dreamed of dying and I thought if I died no one would care. I lived in a black cloud of doom and gloom.

When I look back at this time in my life I am so very glad I didn’t die at the hands of someone else and I am glad I didn’t take my own life. I know how hard it is to see out of the darkness and into the light. I have come very close to forever darkness and no longer being here.

I am here to say anything is possible.

Stuck in my negativity I would have laughed if you would have said fast forward to 2019-2020 you will be a positive life coach, a blogger and working on writing the book of my dreams. I could never focus on long term I could barely get through a day.

Slowly I did make changes to my life. Every day I made positive life changes. I found my worth and my life took off. I think I changed every aspect of my life in order to start over on this path to positivity. I believe in myself and I am up for any challenge. I stand up for what I believe in and I get results.

The biggest part was changing my negative thought patterns. This did not happen overnight. It’s like updating an old computer it takes time. Nothing happens fast. I didn’t learn to think negatively in a day so I didn’t fix it in a day. It has honestly taken me years and I still sometimes catch myself thinking something and have to shut it down and replace it. Yes, I know how crazy this sounds to those of you reading this stuck in negativity. The first time I ever heard someone talk about positive thinking and replacing thoughts, well, I thought she was crazy. Legit one hundred percent crazy, that was until I looked around at the conference she was hosting and the room was packed with thousands of other people who were chanting positive thoughts along with her. Louise Hay was one heck of a game changer in her day and still going forward with the Hay House Corporation. If you haven’t heard of Louise Hay or Hay House, get googling.

Truth is anything is possible if you believe in yourself. Keep moving forward. Live with kindness. Be kind to yourself and those you meet. Keep a positive mindset and be open to the lessons life throws your way. Never stop learning and never stop believing anything is possible.

Power thought cards….

Years ago I was given this deck of Power thought cards. This deck of cards is by Louise Hay and includes 64 cards. Yes, unlike ordinary cards which have 52 cards this deck comes with more. These cards are in a beautiful flower themed box and each one has a powerfully inspiring message with a gorgeous picture. I keep them on my desk and I often pull a card and smile at the thought. Anytime I am feeling stuck they give me a quick new thought. Like a good powerful distraction.

Today when I am struggling to come up with just the right word for a sentence in my book I saw the deck of cards on the corner of my desk. I needed a distraction because the idea wasn’t coming to me so it’s time to switch gears. I decided to see what today’s message of inspiration would be. It was so perfect I had to share.

The card I pulled from the deck and it’s a wonderfully coloured dark orange fading to light orange card. The picture on the front is eyes with a blue flower running between the eyes and the card says “I accept my uniqueness” The back of the card reads “There is no competition and no comparison, for we are all different and meant to be that way. I am special and wonderful. I love myself”

It has taken me a lot of years to get to the point I can say I love myself. Today I absolutely love being me. I am Sascha Davis. I am living out my dreams. I learned to love everything about me. I embrace who I am and what I am doing. I wake up ready to take on the day, whatever the day holds! The good, bad or ugly, let’s do this day! You know how people wanna shout from the roof tops when they are in love? Instead of shouting from the roof top, loving myself makes me wanna sing, “I love myself today” by Bif Naked. Trust me you wanna crank this song and sing along. Feel good song of the day!

Truth is I struggled with my “uniqueness” over the years. I always thought I was down- right weird. Turns out I am and I freaking love it. I wouldn’t have it any other way. I embrace who I am and what I am doing. I approach each day with positivity, love and understanding. I remember that it’s easier to be kind to yourself and everyone else. Each and every day I do my best and if my best isn’t good enough f@ck it!

I spent most of my life sucked into negativity. I lived my life for someone else, anyone else. The thought of loving my self was like some crazy whacky idea I could not wrap my head around. I poured my love into toxic relationships. I searched high and low for the wrong persons love. I changed my looks hoping for other people’s approval. People were not kind to me so in return I was not kind to them. I never knew what self-love was until I took the time to learn how to love myself. I was always trying to be whoever I thought you needed. I lived for everyone else and I forgot to live for me. Sound familiar? I completely lost who I was! I so badly wanted to please everyone else. I found myself saying who is Sascha Davis? I got sucked into a black hole of negative thoughts. Negative thoughts that haunted me and almost convinced me life wasn’t worth living. Talk about a broken record in my head, negativity over and over, the same crap until I believed it. What if I said kind things about myself over and over would I then believe those? Does it only work with negativity? I had to know more. Enough! I had enough! I would have screamed that from the roof tops but I didn’t because in my negative mind I thought no one would help me. You cannot make anyone else change, I know from experience you can only change yourself. You have to want to make this change. I did. I 1000% did. Deep down I always thought life had to be more than what I was doing.

I learned to erase negative thoughts. I learned to accept the things I could not change. Embrace the things that make me unique. I learned my values. I learned my dreams. I learned what was most important to me. I no longer allow other people’s judgments to matter in my life. I live for me! I am living my dream not yours. It is so easy in today’s times to get sucked into social media. You only see small clips of people’s lives. People make their lives look perfect in pictures. It’s hard to avoid drama and negativity. It’s hard to take negative feedback with a smile. It’s hard to not over think situations or things said about you or to you. I know the struggle is real, I lived it.

It is not easy to break free but it is the most amazing feeling. Today I live for me. I write my truth and I do my best to inspire others that anything is possible with the right mind set. If I can do this than you can too!

Like the quote by Wayne W Dyer “change your thoughts change your life”

Make yourself a priority….

What are you doing in your everyday life to make yourself a priority? What time of the day is your time? What activity is your activity?

Too often we get swept up in the days doing everything for everyone else. I am guilty of this. I believe I am a born helper. I want to help everyone I meet. I enjoy helping others. I do admit though that in this helping process has led to me being “burnt out” for a while. I know what it is like to feel like this day in and day out. You gave your all and you have nothing left to give. You give and you give and you forget about yourself. This takes a huge toll on your mental health. Yes, I have had my struggles with mental health. Usually when I forget to care about myself then I end up getting sick.

Find your time. Find your passion.

In order to make myself a priority I had to learn to say no to others. This was, and sometimes still is, a hard thing for me to do. I know I cannot help everyone but for those I do, know that I give it my all. I do my best.
In order to make myself a priority I had to say yes to myself. I struggled with this at first but now I love time to myself. When I was stuck in negativity I was the last person I wanted to spend time with. I laugh as I type this because if I didn’t want to spend time with me why would anyone else? The only types of people who wanted to hang out with me were people stuck in the same kind of darkness.

My time is usually first thing in the morning or late at night. I struggle most nights to sleep. I am usually awake before my son and I enjoy having coffee in quiet. This gives me time to gather my thoughts and plan the day. I have a comfy chair on the deck facing the lake and I enjoy taking in the morning sights and smells. On days when I am too much of a wuss I can sit inside on my comfy chair looking at the lake. The water is my happy place. A big part in why I purchased my house is because I am close to the water. I am a water sign. The sunrises and sunsets over the lake are breathtaking. The sounds of the waves crashing upon shore are soothing. The view is one I will never get over. Every day I am so very thankful for where I live. I usually have a few minutes each day for fitness. I crank my angry blood pumping tunes and I run, I bike, I do yoga or an online work out class. I need these few minutes in the day to get back on track. I often come up with my writing ideas when I am working out. I don’t have a set time of the day that is one hundred percent mine and not every day goes as planned. Again, I don’t control the world even though I think I could rock that crown, ha. I just do my best to claim some part of the day as just time and I do something that is just for me. It’s the best feeling in the world.

Make yourself a priority. Find your time.

My passion is writing. I have always been a writer. For years and years I have written in journals. I have written poetry. I have written short stories. I just have never been brave enough to share my writing. I was always worried I wouldn’t be good enough. I wonder who am I writing for? I am writing for me because it’s something I love to do. So what if no one reads it? So what If I fail? I have had one heck of a fun time doing this. Yes it’s been a bit intimidating at times. Sharing my thoughts and feelings feels a bit like I am exposing myself. I started this journey as a life coach to share my experiences be it good or bad and have people grow and learn from them. I royally messed up my life but here I am still going forward. I am living my dream!

Blogging has opened up so many doors for me. I never dreamed that so many people would read my blog and reach out with such wonderful feedback. When I can sit and write I am at my happiest. I cannot wait for you all too read my book! I have never been so excited to live out my dream. I am doing it! You can do it too.

Find your time. Find your passion.