Author: sascha

Make the call….

This blog is a follow-up to in a world of texting answer your phone. If you have not read that blog click here to enjoy now. I am phone obsessed!

Being on the phone makes me happy. Hearing your voice fills me with joy. Seeing your number on my phone makes me smile. I am happiest when I am talking on the phone. I make time every single day to talk on the phone. Don’t get me wrong, I do love the convenience and time saving ways of modern technology. I do text and I do e-mail but it always seems too impersonal. I can’t hear your voice. I can’t understand your tone. I love to hold the phone and pace around my house catching up. Nothing makes me smile like being on the phone. From sun up to sun down you will find my minutes on my phone tallying up and I couldn’t be happier.

I have had many jobs working on the phone. I was a telemarketer who once called you probably during supper or some other inconvenient time. I swear that is the only time they call. I sold all kinds of things from panty hose to encyclopedias all around the world. Alright, moment of truth maybe not all around the world but all the parts that speak English. I have always dreamed of learning some other languages. I love the sounds of other languages. The allure and wonder what you could be saying when I don’t understand, is dreamy. However learning a language is much harder than I thought. I have tried. Let’s be honest, I still struggle to get all the parts of the English language correct. I will admit cold calling numbers was a heck of an eye opening experience, if you ever wanna be told off in multiple languages this is the job for you. I did however despite the setbacks of the job manage to hold top sales for a number of weeks before I quit. I made quotes and even got bonuses, all from doing what I love, having random conversations on the phone. Little less fun when you have to read a script but I think I rocked it. I did end up quitting to further my schooling; I didn’t think I would be able to sell things over the phone forever as a career. Do people still buy things over the phone? I will say this job taught me a lot about myself. For the people who took the time to chat and not treat me rudely or slam the phone down. Thank you.

I worked for a couple years in an inbound call center. I was one of the first hires for a new exciting local company doing cell phone support. I was part of the process of the activation of phones for dealers. I spent most of my days talking to cell phone customers about their bills and technical difficulties. No one is ever happy to get a high cell phone bill or have a phone malfunction. In today’s times everyone’s cell phone is their life line. I was doing tech support in the cool days of the razor phone. Anyone remember the razor? Or did I just again age myself? I will admit this call center job taught me a great deal about cell phones. I learned to speak the lingo to get discounts on my cell phone bill, which I still use. I met some of the greatest co-workers and even some who 20 years later are still friends. I did my best to make this repetitive job fun! I have to say this job was my happy place in terms of talking on the phone. If only the calls weren’t recorded and I could have had actual conversations. Thanks to everyone who made this job great! Cheers to co-workers who became life long friends.

Most of my other jobs have been with dealing with people directly, which, don’t get me wrong, I also enjoy, but just not as much as talking on the phone. There is just a certain dream like quality when you can only hear a voice. I guess you could say I have a vivid imagination and I like to paint a picture of who I am talking to.

At my current hospital office admin job I like to call my co-workers in different departments and just say hi, check in and maybe plan to take a break together. I enjoy these chats!

For my positive life coach business and my blogs I absolutely love when you call to discuss. I have had some of the greatest phone conversations and stories shared about my blogs. Each and every call touches my heart. Thank you!

I make time to phone my grandparents every day even if it’s just for a minute. Seniors check-up as we call it. They keep me up to date with what’s going on in the family and in the world. I don’t watch the news. I have never been one for watching the news. I enjoy more positive stories.

Especially now in this wild time of Covid-19 I encourage you to make the call. Pick up the phone, reach out and check in on someone. Catch up with an old friend or family. Call someone just to hear their voice and say hello! Let people know you miss them and love them. Tomorrow is not promised so remember today is your day!

The man behind the motto…Part 2

Here is a link to man behind the motto if you haven’t read it.

As I sat down to interview, well okay maybe not interview as much as ask the man behind the motto my Opa (grandpa) some important life questions. I pitched this blog idea to him awhile back and he agreed. I figured he’s the wisest senior I know and why not share his knowledge with all of you. I had an idea of what I wanted to ask him and write about. I had to go out to the farm to chat because he doesn’t use technology and he only spends a few minutes on the phone. If you wanna talk to the senior you meet him in his office.

The office is 2 big desks pushed together. On granny’s side of the office it’s covered in all things horses and her laptop is on her desk. On Opa’s side of the office he has family pictures all around. He doesn’t use technology so his desk is covered with his daily reflection books. I wish he would type them out on the laptop so I could read his thoughts. His mind is always going.

Before I could ask my first question Opa started telling me about his earlier life. He painted a much different world that the one we live in today. It’s a world I cannot picture. I got so lost in his story I forgot all the questions I wanted to ask. I would love to write about his journey through the war as a child and how he came to Canada but when I started typing it all out it quickly neared 10 pages. He has had a life. I think parts could be broken down into future blogs.

He talked so highly of his family throughout his life. It was bringing a tear to my eye. This is not to say he hasn’t had his struggles with family but who hasn’t.

I asked “what does family mean to you?” Opa quickly replied “everything to me, family is number one.” He always says “like you family is everything” and I have to laugh. It is everything to me because he passed this down to me. I spent most of my childhood learning from Opa. He is the glue that holds everyone together.

I asked “What was your first car?” He smiles. I think he knows I have always wanted this car. “My first car was a 1954 VW beetle. Red.”

I asked “What is your dream car?” He looked at me puzzled. “I don’t really care what I drive.” This is true. Most of my life he’s had a barely running truck. I guess I didn’t inherit my love of cars from him, ha. If only had held onto that beetle I could be cruising in style. Maybe not with heat though. He said “the damn heater never worked.”

“What is your biggest accomplishment?” “That I am still alive. I am lucky.” He is not wrong. He’s survived some pretty serious health conditions. He really does have nine lives. This answer warmed my heart. It is a huge accomplishment to make it to your 80’s. I had no idea what he would say to this question. I thought it might be a building answer or something about family. But I guess none of this could have been accomplished if it weren’t for him being alive.

“What’s one thing you wished you would have told your younger self?” Learn a trade which is needed. He has always said this will take you far in life. He is always telling his grandkids and great grandkids this.

Since he is the man behind my life’s motto I had to know “what does the motto mean to you?” Do your best and if your best isn’t good enough fuck it. His answer was perfect: “It means what it really is. When you try so hard like I do with my family, well, when it doesn’t always work out I know I did my best. I’m not going to not talk to them. Do your best and more than that you can’t do.” That folks is what it’s all about. He feels in his heart he has done his best. He almost never gives up. He just keeps going at a problem from different angles.

I struggle with sleep and so does Opa so I asked “What keeps you up at night?” “You name it he says.” Opa’s mind is always going he is always thinking about something or someone. I know I have kept him up at night before but now he would say “you’re doing alright”. Sorry for the sleepless nights. Thanks for never giving up on me!

Opa has been going to Alcoholics Anonymous for 32 years. His commitment to the program is life long. He has a huge community of people from the program. He often quotes and shares stories from AA. I have always wanted to know “What is the biggest lesson you learned from AA?” He immediately feels the hit of this question and says “Woah, the program taught me how to be a human being. Don’t lie. Don’t expect too much. Don’t give too much. Be nicer to people. When you make a deal, make sure it’s 50/50, it’s not always about you.” He wonders if being an alcoholic inheritor. He ponders some theories which kinda scare me because alcoholism runs on both sides of my family. He says “there no two ways about, it I think differently.” This answer made me smile. These are all the things I love about my Opa. I couldn’t be prouder of the man he is.

Opa and granny have been together a long time I asked “how long they had been together and what do you think is the best piece of relationship advice?” I hope one day to find a love like they share. He says “Oh granny and I have been together what 12? 13 years?” I laugh because I know it has been much longer. He shouts for granny to come to the office she quickly lays down the law it’s been 31 years. Opa pretends to be shocked and laughs “what? Really that’s way too long.” He answers what the best piece of advice is, he says, “her thinking is so different than mine. What I like so much about her is she gives facts and not dreams. Together we decide on the right thing. We compromise and come to an agreement. He says it a nice way to live.” Okay before you think that’s all sunshine and rainbows, let me tell you it’s not. They live on a farm where things can always go wrong I have seen the yelling and screaming and occasional thing throw but no one gets hurt and its always worked out. It’s been 31 years and they are an inspiration.

Granny went on to give me her life advice don’t worry I took notes and I plan to share it in a future blog.

We wrapped up our office chat, questions and shared a coffee break. I am so lucky to have such wonderful grandparents. I talk to them every day and I cherish all our memories. The life lessons these two have taught me I know will carry me far in life.

Thank you seniors for your daily phone calls and doses of wisdom!

Believe in yourself and what you are doing and you will go far in life…

In 2005 I was in college for Corrections. I never dreamed of working as a prison guard like the degree is usually used for. I dreamed of working in programs to help rehabilitate offenders. I always wanted to help. In my last year of college I did two placements that forever changed my life and the way I view offenders.

My first placement was with Canadian Families and Corrections Network. I was able to go into the federal prisons in the Kingston area. I got to experience how visitors enter to visit, including the process of being searched. I was okay with this until you can’t touch the search dog. But the dog was always so darn handsome. I was able to be a part of family visitation days. I would join in the visiting areas by the inmates and family members. I would meet with families who were faced with the most unimaginable futures. I was lucky enough to be able to experience family days and see the love. I helped with the children’s programs. I met so many sweet children who made me some of the most amazing art. I was able to see how inmates are placed upon arrival and the programs available to them from schooling to drugs and alcohol programs. This was an eye opening experience to say the least.

My second placement was at a place called Bridge House. The house was for families of inmates. It has since closed down but it was a non-profit, government home that was around for more than twenty years. It was founded by a federal inmate’s wife who saw the need for support and affordable accommodations. The cost per night in 2005 I believe was $15.00. The kitchen you soon understood was the heart of the home. The visitors, staff and women of the community came together and shared meals and stories. I had great conversations and tears with some of the most amazing women I have met to date. I even learned how to cook a few meals. The guests at Bridge House could make local phone calls and receive collect calls from the prisons. It also offered transportation to the prisons in the area. It was a much needed service and after its closure was greatly missed. I am so thankful I had the opportunity to have my placement here. I saw the need for this house.

While doing this placement I met a lady who I clicked with instantly. I ended up helping her relocate to Kingston. She allowed me to help with her prison wedding. I got to know her and always looked forward to our time together. She made my days brighter. When she left Bridge House I broke some rules and hid a gift for her because deep in my heart I knew it was the last time I would see her. She hid a notebook for me which was purple butterflies, my absolute favourite. I would like to share the note she wrote to me. It’s one I read often and I wish I knew where she was today!

“Dear Sascha, Just a little thank you for helping me. It’s been a pleasure being with you. Your light humour is wonderful and it helped me through some rough days. Much thanks!

“Now listen up here” ha ha Ok a few more ha has is always good!

Believe in yourself and what you are doing and you will go far in this life. I told you from the first time we talked that you were special and guess what? You still are. The skies the limit for you. Take what you can get from it and go for it.

All the best to you, the future looks bright and sunny for you. It’s yours for the taking.”

She had such beautiful penmanship. She then signed the letter and disappeared. This letter has survived 15 years with me through every move I have made. I think of all the laughs we shared. She also had an amazing sense of humour. We shared so many laughs and a few tears. Her life story was inspiring and I am honoured she shared it with me. She always used to say to me “now listen up here” and when I read that I can hear her voice and see her face, forever frozen in my memory. I cherish how kind she and her husband were to me. I never met him but he always used to chat when he called. She believed in me way before I believed in myself and I wish I could give her a big hug and say thank you! You forever changed my life in the most positive ways and 15 years later I still think of you. I hope you are doing fabulous!

Recently I made a list of all the positive people who changed my life and you were right there at the top. Not everyone on my list is still in my life but for those times we shared and your inspiring messages thank you. I am such a lucky woman!

Be kind with your words you never know who will hold onto them. Tell people how much you love them. Life is wild you may never get another chance. Today is your day!

Anything is possible…

When you said these three words to me it brought tears to my eyes. I tuck my son into bed and we always have this cute goodnight that warms my heart. I always say “I love you son” to which he says “I love you more mom” Then I say “I love you the most” He says “I love you even more than you think” I say “I love you even more than you know” He says “I love you more than that” I usually just laugh and say goodnight and smother him in kisses but tonight I said “That’s not possible I love you the most” He only heard that’s not possible and he grabbed my face and said “Ma, anything is possible”

My son is an old soul who never ever stops talking. I have had a headache since 2013, ha. Yes, he even talks in his sleep. Sometimes he says something and it really makes me stop and think. After he told me anything is possible he went on to list a million things that are possible, probably just conning me into staying up later but I admit it was adorable and it worked.

I love his attitude towards life. He does honestly believe that whatever he puts his mind to he can do and I never want him to lose this ability.

Believe in your dreams.

When it comes right down to it, in life, if you believe anything is possible this attitude will be the fuel you need to succeed. This is the attitude that will make you unstoppable.

Most of my life I believed I was worthless and I wouldn’t amount to much in life. I was just waiting around to die. I convinced myself nothing was possible and this shitty life was all I was ever going to have. I wasted day in and day out. I wasted away at dead end jobs. I wasted away in relationships that were toxic. I just hoped every day I woke up it would be my last day. I dreamed of dying and I thought if I died no one would care. I lived in a black cloud of doom and gloom.

When I look back at this time in my life I am so very glad I didn’t die at the hands of someone else and I am glad I didn’t take my own life. I know how hard it is to see out of the darkness and into the light. I have come very close to forever darkness and no longer being here.

I am here to say anything is possible.

Stuck in my negativity I would have laughed if you would have said fast forward to 2019-2020 you will be a positive life coach, a blogger and working on writing the book of my dreams. I could never focus on long term I could barely get through a day.

Slowly I did make changes to my life. Every day I made positive life changes. I found my worth and my life took off. I think I changed every aspect of my life in order to start over on this path to positivity. I believe in myself and I am up for any challenge. I stand up for what I believe in and I get results.

The biggest part was changing my negative thought patterns. This did not happen overnight. It’s like updating an old computer it takes time. Nothing happens fast. I didn’t learn to think negatively in a day so I didn’t fix it in a day. It has honestly taken me years and I still sometimes catch myself thinking something and have to shut it down and replace it. Yes, I know how crazy this sounds to those of you reading this stuck in negativity. The first time I ever heard someone talk about positive thinking and replacing thoughts, well, I thought she was crazy. Legit one hundred percent crazy, that was until I looked around at the conference she was hosting and the room was packed with thousands of other people who were chanting positive thoughts along with her. Louise Hay was one heck of a game changer in her day and still going forward with the Hay House Corporation. If you haven’t heard of Louise Hay or Hay House, get googling.

Truth is anything is possible if you believe in yourself. Keep moving forward. Live with kindness. Be kind to yourself and those you meet. Keep a positive mindset and be open to the lessons life throws your way. Never stop learning and never stop believing anything is possible.

Power thought cards….

Years ago I was given this deck of Power thought cards. This deck of cards is by Louise Hay and includes 64 cards. Yes, unlike ordinary cards which have 52 cards this deck comes with more. These cards are in a beautiful flower themed box and each one has a powerfully inspiring message with a gorgeous picture. I keep them on my desk and I often pull a card and smile at the thought. Anytime I am feeling stuck they give me a quick new thought. Like a good powerful distraction.

Today when I am struggling to come up with just the right word for a sentence in my book I saw the deck of cards on the corner of my desk. I needed a distraction because the idea wasn’t coming to me so it’s time to switch gears. I decided to see what today’s message of inspiration would be. It was so perfect I had to share.

The card I pulled from the deck and it’s a wonderfully coloured dark orange fading to light orange card. The picture on the front is eyes with a blue flower running between the eyes and the card says “I accept my uniqueness” The back of the card reads “There is no competition and no comparison, for we are all different and meant to be that way. I am special and wonderful. I love myself”

It has taken me a lot of years to get to the point I can say I love myself. Today I absolutely love being me. I am Sascha Davis. I am living out my dreams. I learned to love everything about me. I embrace who I am and what I am doing. I wake up ready to take on the day, whatever the day holds! The good, bad or ugly, let’s do this day! You know how people wanna shout from the roof tops when they are in love? Instead of shouting from the roof top, loving myself makes me wanna sing, “I love myself today” by Bif Naked. Trust me you wanna crank this song and sing along. Feel good song of the day!

Truth is I struggled with my “uniqueness” over the years. I always thought I was down- right weird. Turns out I am and I freaking love it. I wouldn’t have it any other way. I embrace who I am and what I am doing. I approach each day with positivity, love and understanding. I remember that it’s easier to be kind to yourself and everyone else. Each and every day I do my best and if my best isn’t good enough f@ck it!

I spent most of my life sucked into negativity. I lived my life for someone else, anyone else. The thought of loving my self was like some crazy whacky idea I could not wrap my head around. I poured my love into toxic relationships. I searched high and low for the wrong persons love. I changed my looks hoping for other people’s approval. People were not kind to me so in return I was not kind to them. I never knew what self-love was until I took the time to learn how to love myself. I was always trying to be whoever I thought you needed. I lived for everyone else and I forgot to live for me. Sound familiar? I completely lost who I was! I so badly wanted to please everyone else. I found myself saying who is Sascha Davis? I got sucked into a black hole of negative thoughts. Negative thoughts that haunted me and almost convinced me life wasn’t worth living. Talk about a broken record in my head, negativity over and over, the same crap until I believed it. What if I said kind things about myself over and over would I then believe those? Does it only work with negativity? I had to know more. Enough! I had enough! I would have screamed that from the roof tops but I didn’t because in my negative mind I thought no one would help me. You cannot make anyone else change, I know from experience you can only change yourself. You have to want to make this change. I did. I 1000% did. Deep down I always thought life had to be more than what I was doing.

I learned to erase negative thoughts. I learned to accept the things I could not change. Embrace the things that make me unique. I learned my values. I learned my dreams. I learned what was most important to me. I no longer allow other people’s judgments to matter in my life. I live for me! I am living my dream not yours. It is so easy in today’s times to get sucked into social media. You only see small clips of people’s lives. People make their lives look perfect in pictures. It’s hard to avoid drama and negativity. It’s hard to take negative feedback with a smile. It’s hard to not over think situations or things said about you or to you. I know the struggle is real, I lived it.

It is not easy to break free but it is the most amazing feeling. Today I live for me. I write my truth and I do my best to inspire others that anything is possible with the right mind set. If I can do this than you can too!

Like the quote by Wayne W Dyer “change your thoughts change your life”

Make yourself a priority….

What are you doing in your everyday life to make yourself a priority? What time of the day is your time? What activity is your activity?

Too often we get swept up in the days doing everything for everyone else. I am guilty of this. I believe I am a born helper. I want to help everyone I meet. I enjoy helping others. I do admit though that in this helping process has led to me being “burnt out” for a while. I know what it is like to feel like this day in and day out. You gave your all and you have nothing left to give. You give and you give and you forget about yourself. This takes a huge toll on your mental health. Yes, I have had my struggles with mental health. Usually when I forget to care about myself then I end up getting sick.

Find your time. Find your passion.

In order to make myself a priority I had to learn to say no to others. This was, and sometimes still is, a hard thing for me to do. I know I cannot help everyone but for those I do, know that I give it my all. I do my best.
In order to make myself a priority I had to say yes to myself. I struggled with this at first but now I love time to myself. When I was stuck in negativity I was the last person I wanted to spend time with. I laugh as I type this because if I didn’t want to spend time with me why would anyone else? The only types of people who wanted to hang out with me were people stuck in the same kind of darkness.

My time is usually first thing in the morning or late at night. I struggle most nights to sleep. I am usually awake before my son and I enjoy having coffee in quiet. This gives me time to gather my thoughts and plan the day. I have a comfy chair on the deck facing the lake and I enjoy taking in the morning sights and smells. On days when I am too much of a wuss I can sit inside on my comfy chair looking at the lake. The water is my happy place. A big part in why I purchased my house is because I am close to the water. I am a water sign. The sunrises and sunsets over the lake are breathtaking. The sounds of the waves crashing upon shore are soothing. The view is one I will never get over. Every day I am so very thankful for where I live. I usually have a few minutes each day for fitness. I crank my angry blood pumping tunes and I run, I bike, I do yoga or an online work out class. I need these few minutes in the day to get back on track. I often come up with my writing ideas when I am working out. I don’t have a set time of the day that is one hundred percent mine and not every day goes as planned. Again, I don’t control the world even though I think I could rock that crown, ha. I just do my best to claim some part of the day as just time and I do something that is just for me. It’s the best feeling in the world.

Make yourself a priority. Find your time.

My passion is writing. I have always been a writer. For years and years I have written in journals. I have written poetry. I have written short stories. I just have never been brave enough to share my writing. I was always worried I wouldn’t be good enough. I wonder who am I writing for? I am writing for me because it’s something I love to do. So what if no one reads it? So what If I fail? I have had one heck of a fun time doing this. Yes it’s been a bit intimidating at times. Sharing my thoughts and feelings feels a bit like I am exposing myself. I started this journey as a life coach to share my experiences be it good or bad and have people grow and learn from them. I royally messed up my life but here I am still going forward. I am living my dream!

Blogging has opened up so many doors for me. I never dreamed that so many people would read my blog and reach out with such wonderful feedback. When I can sit and write I am at my happiest. I cannot wait for you all too read my book! I have never been so excited to live out my dream. I am doing it! You can do it too.

Find your time. Find your passion.

NES……

Nintendo Entertainment System was all the rage in the 80’s. My older brother got a NES for Christmas. Dad engraved his initials J.V.D into the bottom of the console. I have to admit my brother is good at everything he does, games included. My dad was thrilled when he beat him once but it never happened again. My older brother is not one to play games against, you will lose. Welcome to my childhood of always being player number two and waiting forever until he beat the game. Only to get a thirty second chance to play before I died. I was always Luigi and I could never beat any of the games. We would spend hours trying to find the princess only to find she’s in another castle. How many castles does this princess need? Don’t you dare get me started on Duck Hunt. If that dog pops up and laughs one more time about my shooting skills so help me. Maybe my anger started here in the pixels of Duck Hunt. ha.

Did you ever play NES for so long you had the arrow button became impressed into your thumb? Your hands cramped up from holding that controller for what seemed like an eternity? For some reason it felt like you could make the jump if you squeezed the controller harder and threw the cord with you whichever way you were going. No? Just me? My eyes felt like they were going to bleed from all the pixel goodness. I might have needed the glasses I have today from all the NES I played in my childhood.

My brother wasn’t the only good gamer, oh no move over sir, enter my step mom. Growing up she played Dr. Mario like it was her job. She and her friends stacked the pills and killed the germs like professionals. She started on the hardest levels with the fastest settings. I can remember sitting with my step sisters and the game was going so fast it hurt our eyes to watch. Then when we got a turn to play it was on the slowest setting and on the first level and we struggled to stay alive. The struggle was real!

Oh how the times have changed and the gaming systems have gotten far too complex. What’s up with all the buttons? I miss the simple days of the NES. Whatever happened to start, select and keeping it simple? Now they have buttons on the sides, top, back, and front of controllers. Sweet goodness, there’s a reason I can’t game in current times. The graphics are so clear and the button combos are far too complex for me to master.

When I moved out on my own I tried to convince my step mom to give me the old Nintendo but that didn’t happen so I turned to Kijiji and e-bay. I am happy to say I purchased not only the NES console, controllers, duck hunt gun and most of the games I once tried to beat and some new games too. Yes you still have to hit reset a million times until the picture loads correctly. Sometimes you have to wiggle the cartridge or take it out and blow on it. But after all these years it still runs like a dream.

Nothing is as calming as kicking it old school with the NES. I am happy to report as an adult and not being playing number two. I am pretty darn good at these games from the 80’s. I have even beaten a few.

The controller now seems smaller in my hand. As a kid I felt like it was a giant thing to hold. The victory of beating the game is a feeling that cannot be topped. I played Dr. Mario against my step mom as an adult and I won! Victory is mine! I have yet to meet anyone who can beat me in Dr. Mario. No need to challenge me, I like thinking I am the best. I even have a Dr. Mario tattoo on my hip. Forever making Dr. Mario my favourite NES game.

Jaws is a game I never experienced as a kid, but have come to love as an adult. It didn’t come with any instructions and it makes no sense but when you win and fly off into the pixel sunset. It makes the struggle of killing jellyfish and stingrays, collecting shells, fly planes, finding submarines and hit jaws with a boat all worth it.

It has all been fun and games, until recently when I thought it would be exciting to set up and play duck hunt with my son and my niece. Both kids are 7 years old about the age I was when I started learning to play Nintendo. I was showing them how the game worked and I reached level 10. Something I have never done before, apparently I am really down right horrible at this game. I felt like I was finally on fire and making great headway. Feeling great, until my niece, first try makes it to level 13 like she was hired and paid to take those ducks out. Even worse my son, comes up after her, boom same right to level 13. Oh duck hunt, a game I will forever dislike. Keep laughing dog!

Here’s too many more days and nights filled with NES goodness. Thank you to the friends and family who have come and shared some laughs and played some games.

What was your favourite NES game? What is a game you would recommend I try?

I am sorry and I forgive you….

Forgiveness is defined as “the release of resentment or anger. Forgiveness doesn’t mean reconciliation. One doesn’t have to return to the same relationship or accept the same harmful behaviors from an offender. Forgiveness is vitally important for the mental health of those who have been victimized.” This is a powerful process to healing yourself.

Raise your hand if you need to forgive? Raise your hand if you have been the victim? I would have raised both hands way up as high as I could. I have held onto resentment and anger for so many years like a god damn professional. Resentment and anger were my way of life for far too long. Resentment and anger are what I lived for. This started in me as a child, snow balled as a teen and as an adult until I hated pretty much everyone and everything including myself. I wasn’t able to change into the positive person I am today without saying I am sorry and I forgive you.

I know I have not always been an easy person to be around and I admit it. I was boiling with hate because I didn’t know how to understand others and forgive. Yes, some of this hate was caused by the things other people said and did. Yes, some of the hate was caused by things I did. Yes, some of this hate was fueled in my failures. Yes, some of this hate was because I blamed myself for what happened to me. I cannot control everything that happens but I can control my reaction.

When you get stuck being the victim in a sad story, you get so overwhelmed being the main character, you forget about all the other people in the story. You don’t care about anyone else. You blame, you hate and you stay stuck. I lived this life for far too long. Instead of focusing on the good in my life, I only saw the dark the parts I hated. Instead of seeing the good people surrounding me, I only saw the people who kept me stuck. Again I cannot stress this enough you attract the same kind of people into your life. When I was stuck being negative I kept finding more and more negative people to stay stuck with me, who hated all the same things I did. People who wanted to partake in the same self-destructive behaviours. Holding onto hatred will do you no good. Holding onto hatred is horrible for your mental health. Learn to heal.

Change doesn’t come easy. Change doesn’t happen overnight. It took me a lot of years to fill myself with hatred and it took me a lot of years to fill my life with positivity. I had to learn to say I am sorry for what I have done and I forgive you for what you have done to a lot of people in order to move forward in life. Some people I reached out to and I said it too them personally. Some people accepted my apology, others didn’t. I know that I did my best and if they are not in a place to accept then I hope one day they will. Some people I have lost track of over the years and so I had to accept how to move on without formal forgiveness. You do whatever you have to do to move past what is keeping you stuck. I can honestly say today there isn’t a person I wouldn’t say I am sorry or, I forgive you, to and even give them a hug. Life is too short to stay pissed off or filled with hatred. Even those people who made it to the top of my hated hit list over the years, I accept your apology and I forgive you. This does not mean that I want to have all these people back in my life, don’t get me wrong. It means I am healing from the situation and wishing them the best on whatever path life takes them. I believe that people come into your life and they teach you lessons you need to learn going forward. Like chapters or books, not everyone stays forever but for the time they are in your life they can teach you so much if you accept the lessons good or bad.

Yes things happened to me and I did things I wish I didn’t do. However I cannot go back and change what has happened. So why carry it around and keep living it over and over? Keep on hating for the rest of my life for something in the past it’s such a waste of time. I am not saying forgive every little thing that happens immediately. We all have our process and our ways of dealing with situations. I am saying that when you understand the situation and choose to see the good that can come from it you will learn to apologize and forgive. You will learn to be a more positive person and attract great people into your life.

Try starting with removing the word hate. The word hate is such an over-used but powerful word. Hating results in a lot of pain and destruction for everyone involved. It should actually never be used. If you can remove it from your vocabulary you will realized that you never really hated anything or anyone. You may have a profound dislike or were deeply hurt and so you feel defensive. Focus on the feeling rather than the scapegoat generalization of hate. It will be the first step to forgiveness and healing. Forgiveness will allow you to move forward and release the burden so you can heal.

Learn to choose positivity. Eliminate hate. Learn to forgive and say sorry.

Attitude alignment…

I recently read a quote that hit home with me and I wanted to share it with you. It said “The only difference between a good day and a bad day is your attitude”

How freaking true is that?

This got me thinking, like inspirational quotes often do. A guilty pleasure of mine is that I love quotes. I have quotes all around my house. No matter where I am in the house it reminds me to choose positivity. Kind, simple words, often put me in a much better mood. Remind me that being in a good mood will make the day much easier and enjoyable. This is not just for myself but for those who are around me.

I set positive quotes as my background on my phone, tablet, laptop and this computer I write from. I use positive quotes as my passwords. I turn beautiful pictures that I have taken into the backgrounds for quotes on this website. Sometimes when I am finding it particularly difficult to get through the day I make quotes with my favourite sayings so I always have them with me. I keep a file on my phone, because I usually have my phone everywhere I go, so I can stop and redirect myself at any time of the day. I have the power. My favourite quote comes from my Opa. My life’s motto is “Do your best and if your best isn’t good enough fuck it” This quote always put me right back on track. I never give up and I always keep working towards my goals. I know that I am doing my best

What is your favourite quote?

I have mentioned before that in my office is a vision wall. It started out as a board and quickly grew to the whole side of my office. Anytime I am working and I feel like I need inspiration, bam, right there, a whole wall. My wall is covered in quotes that I love to read, quotes that inspire me. My wall is filled with my accomplishments. My accomplishments remind me I am fierce and I can do this. My wall has visions of all the things I plan to do in the future. My wall has beautiful pictures from places I have traveled and places I still want to go. I do my running in front of this wall to remind myself that I always have something to be thankful for. Running helps me clear my mind and I often write these blogs after a run. Staring at my visions, quotes, hopes, dreams and accomplishments often sparks an idea for the next blog.

I admit I have been guilty of being that girl with a bad attitude. If you could only see the negative and be in a bad mood, well that was me for years on repeat. What a waste of a life! Again, as a reminder, my change did not happen overnight or even in a year. It has taken me years of work on the path to being a better positive person. It’s a lifetime of work. When you are stuck being negative what do you attract? The same kind of people! My life was filled with negativity. I had toxic friendships and relationships. I didn’t want to be alone in my negativity and misery loves company. It is possible to remove toxic people from your life and it is possible to change from being that toxic person. You do not have to stay stuck in negativity anymore. You have to want to change and you have to believe in yourself. It is the best thing I ever did.

Today I am happy to say that for the most part my days are good. My attitude is that of understanding. I understand that not every day is going to go as planned. I understand that I cannot control the way my day goes. I understand I can control my attitude when things do happen. This is probably the hardest adjustment I have had to make and I still struggle sometimes. I am not perfect but I am trying. I understand I have to be flexible and deal with things as they come up. I know that I cannot solve all my problems on my own and its okay to ask for help. I used to think asking for help meant I failed and I had to admit it. In a way asking for help is a sign I failed but it’s also a great opportunity to meet other people, to see other people’s point of views or the way they do things. Asking for help has allowed me to network with so many wonderful people I am thankful to have in my life.
I have learned that the only thing you can change is yourself and how you react to the challenges you face every day be it big or small. A negative reaction will not solve anything or make life better, only choosing to face the challenges in a positive way and ask for help. Oh yes and when you ask for help accept it with gratitude. You will find the positivity will be returned and your life will be better for it.

I am positive if I can do it than so can you!

Siblings…

I grew up with my brother. We look alike, we grew up in the same house but we turned out to be two very- different people. I think my brother is a lot like our mom and I am more like our dad. I find it fascinating to meet siblings. To hear stories of how alike or dislike siblings can be.

After having found a corgi that I think is the sister to my late beloved Charleston, it got me thinking about my siblings. Yes buckle up I warned you before my family is filled with nuts, but these crazy nuts love like no others.

My parents separated and divorced when I was around 7 years old. My brother and I lived with our mom full time and visited our dad. I’m not going to lie, if given the chance I would have lived with my Opa. I laugh when I type that because I feel like I spent most of my time there anyways, I might as well have lived there. As a child it was my happy place. I am honoured to say it still is my happy place and I visit often. I love that I get to share this amazing place with my son. My heart is so full with memories made and memories still in the making.

As a child I always dreamed of having a sister. When you grow up with a brother who always wrecked your dolls instead of playing dolls with you, well you dream of a sister, someone to play dolls with. My dad was in a relationship with a woman for roughly 8 years or so who had 2 daughters. Oh my step sisters came in like two raging bulls and we have been laughing ever since. Even though our parents have gone separate ways we have always remained sisters. I am that sister who bugs them, who keeps in touch and demands we all get together. Sisters for life and I wouldn’t have it any other way! You gals forever changed my life in the best way possible!

Both my parents dating over the years has added many great people into my life, not all of them stay forever but for the times we shared I am thankful.

I admit it I am a family person, family means the world to me. I am lucky to have so many people to call my family. I enjoy checking in with family near and far. I do my best to keep in touch. I love texting, emailing and Facebook for this reason. It’s so easy now to keep in touch. To remind those crazy nuts how important they are!

When I was a teenager I was on a solo trip to B.C. to visit some of my family. Oh B.C. is my destination happy place. I have so many fond memories of the years of travel to the west coast there is no were else in the world that makes me this happy! The one trip to B.C. that forever changed my life was finding out I had a half-brother. Oh goodness biggest and best shock of my life. I hate the term half or step, you’re my brother. I will never forget this day. I was sitting at my aunt’s kitchen table right by the door where you walked in and I am sure my jaw hit the floor. I think this brother and I are so much alike. We didn’t grow up together but when we met it was like we had always known each other. I was seventeen years old when we met. Now, we don’t always get along, we’re siblings. We have gotten into fights or disagreements and not always been able to see eye to eye. I think mostly because I am the little BIG sister and you are the big LITTLE brother (I am taller than both my older brothers) but we always come to a solution and you know how much I love you! I am forever grateful for our aunt bringing us together. You, my sister in law and my nephews hold a huge part of my heart. You all make my days filled with laughter and love. Thank you!

I also have a friend that’s like a sister even though she grew up with sisters. Too bad you are stuck with me for life. You will forever be the sister I chose. Kelly your family has always shown me love. Your parents became like second parents to me. Your sisters became my friends. No matter where life takes us you will forever be a part of my family. Love ya girl! Thank you for always being the greatest friend a girl could ask for.

As a kid my world felt small with just my brother picking on me. Ha, but who knew I would have so many people come into my life over the years. To all my brothers and sisters thank you! You brighten each and every one of my days and remind me how much I love and am loved.