Author: sascha

Okay, I know I have said enjoy Canadian summers because they are gone in a blink of an eye, but this year it especially flew by. I left my job and even had most of the summer off with my boy, but it feels like we did so much and yet nothing at all how is it possible that the leaves are now changing colors and the fall crisp air has set in? How is it possible I already have a fourth grader? Time needs to slow down.

As I sit in my home office with the window open and the lake breeze keeping me cool I love watching the sunrises and the sunsets. Gorgeous colors all around me. I do love the fall season and all its gorgeousness.

I enjoyed my first caddy cruise this past weekend, usually, by the fall I have ticked on hundreds of kilometers but at last this year my lovely car sat in a garage, tarp-covered and sad. . My son has let me know he has been on more cruises this year and that it’s no longer my car. Apparently, I lost my caddy, and he wants it restored back to its original mint condition so he can enjoy the caddy as his first car. I laughed thinking of trying to pass my driver’s test in the caddy. How cool would it be to drive to school in a big ol black caddy. I took my driver’s test in a Mercury Topaz a mid-size car and when I parallel parked, I backed into the spot they have set aside, and I hit both gates you had to navigate between to pass. I would like to say I am a much better parker today. Thankfully, you could have three errors back in the day when I did my testing. I don’t think the caddy would fit between those parking gates. I find it best to find a pull-in spot rather than try to parallel park the caddy. I am not brave enough; afraid I will scratch it the car. I also do not have my transport license and I can assure you the caddy is the longest care I have ever driven. One good thing about the driver’s test with a caddy would have been that I wouldn’t have lost points for speeding like I did. I can only imagine in 7 years when my son finally is a licensed driver what the cost of gas would be to fill the caddy. I do often wonder if as a passenger my son behind the wheel cruising along, would I have the same big smile I see when I look over at my dad. I am not sure if I would be smiling and scared he’s driving my car!

This past weekend we went for a cruise to celebrate my dad’s birthday he is officially a senior and we have a birthday tradition to get Reb Lobster and cruise, This time I picked up my girlfriend smalls who is just the smaller version of myself. I threw her in the back of the caddy and we headed east. We were both having a day sometimes the struggles real. When I have a bad day I try to think of how it went wrong and what I could do to make it better. You know what always makes my problems better? Crushed velour and being in the drivers seat of the caddy! The three of us cruised around laughing and it was just the fall day we all needed.

As thanksgiving approaches this weekend, I think of all the people I am thankful for and my face hurts from smiling. I still make a grateful list every day to remind myself how blessed I am in this life.

Here’s to fall and falling into living grateful lives.

From the first time I ever went to a demolition derby, I have had a dream to smash up some cars. Long before I ever wanted to race cars, I wanted to smash them up.  I love to go fast, and I love to smash, hopefully never at the same time.

As a woman when the crowd cheers on a lady demolition derby driver it still gives me chills and instantly makes me smile and proud and deep down, I am like GET EM GIRL! Destroy those other cars. I love a lady driver even better if she’s a winner!

I can remember my dad taking me to the local fair I was about 7 years old or so and I thought it was a crazy idea to take cars you stripped down to nothing, decorate them up, then you suit up and destroy them. Who comes up with this? My dad’s face lit up with excitement as he described the event to me, so I agreed to go, and it turns out I loved it.

The lady who announced the local fair in our small town had such a captivating voice. She sucked you in and kept you yelling and cheering the drivers on. You yelled until you lost your voice. She was always having fun and made sure everyone got along and shook hands at the end. She had a voice that drew people in to watch the derby from all around. I am sure you could hear her voice across town.

This was the first year I have been back to the fair since Covid without the announcer’s voice present and it showed.  This derby was best described as unorganized chaos. The drivers shook hands at the end to honour the late great woman announcer not because they were friendly told. I know I wasn’t the only person who missed her in a crowd I heard her name many times. This derby was confusing, the sound was bad, and the interviews were inadequate quality.

When my son and niece were about 5 years old, I took them to a local fair to watch the derby. For the record they both thought the idea of cars smashing up was crazy like I did at that age. Happy that they entertained me and joined. Our Opa also joined us he also loved a derby, but I think he just came to the fairs to see the carousel.

We had front row seats to the derby, and we got the full experience during a crash up close and personal we had mud sprayed on us. We watched the kids’ faces light up with wonder and delight. I knew from that moment I had derby kids. They even had a 1989 caddy just like the one we have and the look of shock on my sons face like anyone would ever want to smash it up was one is a look I will never forget.

This year we went to the fair for the derby. We sat high up in the grandstands, we know you were right there with us Opa we watched, and we cheered until we lost our voices. Our hearts were full, and I know two kids who want to enter the derby! I will be right beside you helping to decorating a car just please use any other car NOT the caddy!

 

For most of my life, I felt like something was missing. For most of my life, I felt angry and most of my days were unhappy. For most of my life, my internal dialog was that I wasn’t good enough. I held on to feelings that I needed to let go of.

Where did this all come from? Why was I left feeling like this?

My most significant life transformation came when I learned to love myself when I started to live my life for myself and when I learned to put myself first.

I spent most of my teens, twenties, and well into my thirties putting my happiness and how I felt onto others. I just wanted to feel loved and accepted by someone else. Spoiler alert it’s not possible if you haven’t learned to love yourself. Love starts within you!

I dated nothing but toxic people who I put in charge of my happiness and feeling loved. I ran away when I thought I wasn’t happy or didn’t feel loved. I was a run-away bride many times over because I knew my happiness wasn’t at the end of the aisle. No matter who tried to love me I just couldn’t get there. Something was missing. You can’t love someone else or be in a healthy relationship if you don’t have self-love.

In my twenties and thirties, my biggest fear was being alone. I had a need to be surrounded with people. When you’re angry and hate life what kind of people do you attract? Like-minded people are the only people who can stand to be around your negative butt. Everyone I had in my life was negative or I chose only to see the negative.

I know why I almost ended my life, how I got to this very moment in my life. I was miserable, I took too much on, and I forgot to take care of myself. I had tried to run from my problems, but your problems always follow. I didn’t deal with my problems and so they just got bigger and bigger until they almost consumed me.

The most important person in your life is you! It’s just that simple. I realized if I don’t take care of myself I am not a great mother, partner, sister, daughter, granddaughter, aunt, niece, cousin, coworker, or friend.

How did I realize this? Well, I wish I had a magic purple pill that made the process go quicker but at last, it took me years. It took me years of being alone with myself to discover who I am, what I like, and what I want to accomplish. I had become so lost I forgot the basics. I tried so hard to save other people from their problems that I didn’t deal with my own problems.

Transformation isn’t easy. Change isn’t easy. It is necessary.

Each and every day I want to show up being my best self. I changed the way I think about myself. I changed how I felt about myself. I learned what I love to do. I learned what my passions are in life. What I want to accomplish. I spent time with myself.

I learned that the two things that were the scariest things in life are my two greatest joys.

I love time to myself. I want to be alone with myself. I never take for granted the alone time I get. I ask for time alone when I need it. Being alone is my recharge time. Being alone grounds and centers my thoughts. I know now that always surrounding myself with other people burns me out. Drains my energy and I can’t focus. I need quiet time. I need time to recharge. I need time to put my heart and soul into things that I love to do.

Being a mom was always a huge fear when I knew I couldn’t take care of myself how could I take care of another? I learned how to change the ways I viewed myself. I learned a kinder love language towards myself. I am always working to improve and learn. I embraced being a mom and I let go of the expectations I had of myself. Let’s be honest kids don’t come with a how-to manual or a rule book you just do the best you can and have as much fun as you can along the way. My son taught me a love that I didn’t know existed.

What was missing? Love! Love that starts within. The way you talk to yourself and the way you love yourself shows up in your everyday life. It’s the difference between being happy or being miserable. The love you feel towards yourself is no one else’s responsibility. Do not put someone else in charge of how you feel. If you start with self-love you can include more people you love in your life. Loving others seems less scary now that I know no matter what happens on this journey of life I will be okay. I love and appreciate myself just as I am. I love the people who surround me and are my tribe.

 

 

Change the way you think.

Change is a word that I have never really been fond of—just hearing the word change used to make me nervous and uncomfortable. If anything was mentioned about changing my mind immediately went to negativity. I felt that if I had to change it was because something I did wasn’t good enough. I jumped to all the uncomfortableness that change would bring out in me. I viewed change as a negative. I worried about the change until it made me sick. I was stuck in negativity, and I didn’t want to change. I wasted a lot of time because I wouldn’t change.

I changed the way I view the word change.

A great quote is “If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change- Wayne Dyer”

Now when something or someone needs to use the word change or asks me to change something, I embrace it with positivity and hope to learn from the experience. Every time you make a change it is a teaching moment. I think by changing this what can I learn?

In the last couple of months, everything in my life changed and it’s taken some adjusting for sure. I removed the scary thoughts about change, and I do my best to roll with change. I try to take the good that change brings.

I made living accommodation changes which are always difficult because I like my things a certain way, and having someone else’s things around sometimes leaves me feeling anxious. I need to organize, clean, and have a flow.

I had to change the way I drove because my car was in an accident (no injuries) just a series of rental cars I was not familiar with. After 5 weeks I think I forget how to drive standard. I might have to change and buy an automatic (kidding I would never!)

I changed my job something I never thought I would do but the hospital in a global pandemic weighed heavy on my heart. I have always wanted a job I could be passionate about, a job that helps people and I wanted to do it from my home. That’s not asking too much, is it? I changed my job.

I am happy to report I did find a job that I love. I have taken on something I’m passionate about and it allows me to help people from the comfort of my home office. I changed my hours from those of am all over shift worker, forgetting what day it was to a steady 9 to 5. I changed my part-time hours and weekdays off that I loved for full-time Monday to Friday with weekends off. I try to focus on all the good things that have come my way with this job.  I admit on my first feedback meeting I was a little bit nervous about how much change they would want but they embrace who I am and what I bring, and I am blessed to be in my home office.

I will miss my former co-worker friends and I am still adjusting to how I am going to juggle all my time, but I am happy with my changes and excited to see where all these changes take me next.

What will I change next?

Embrace change-remove the part that’s scary- take whatever change comes your way, roll with it, put a positive spin upon it and think what can I learn from this change?

 

 

 

This pillow reminds me of the most remarkable man I have ever met. he also happened to be my Opa. This pillow was made out of one of his favourite “fancy” shirts.

Opa had a love for the colour brown and a wonderful plaid design. He always had handkerchiefs in his pockets as well as a pencil and many other items. You never knew what he had in those pockets. His pockets always appeared endless as he pulled things out. He packed a pocket like I pack my purse.

These types of plaid shirts were what Opa would call his “fancy” shirts. Compared to his collection of warn-out farm t-shirts.

I found this pillow design while scrolling through Pinterest. I thought the idea was a good way for all of us grandkids to keep him close. Thank you granny for sharing his “fancy” shirts. Thank you to my mom who did an amazing job sewing so many together on short notice. Mom took the time to sew on a heart and stuff the pocket with one of his handkerchiefs and a personalized note. Each note she took the time to personalize and type out on her vintage typewritten. My note brought me to tears as I read “This pocket was once over my heart now hold it near yours for we’ll never be apart.” It still brings me to tears.

This pillow has been on my couch since Opa passed. I watch his favourite shows and keep him close.

I recently returned from a trip to see what I thought was a card tucked in the pocket but it wasn’t a card but rather a collection of carousel stamps including the Roseneath carousel.

This stamp collection brought me to tears, not the stamps but the image that instantly flooded my mind. When I saw the stamp of the Roseneath carousel it brought me right back to a beautiful fall day at the fair riding the Roseneath carousel. I spun around going up and down giggling at how much joy this simple ride brought me. As I glanced out into the crowds I located my Opa with a huge smile on his face beaming from side to side as he hummed along to the carousel song.

He loved carousels so much that he had a huge collection in his house, some played music, and some were just gorgeous to look at. His collection was from all over the world.  He loved carousels so much that he even built his great-grandchildren a real working carousel in his backyard that went around, up and down, and played music so he could enjoy their wonderous smiles as they happily road around with their stuffed friends.

I know you are always near and I miss you crazy amounts. Thanks for all the memories. Your words live on through me.

http://www.roseneathcarousel.com/

Last week after I finished my blog and posted it I was thinking I have an afternoon to myself how should I spend it? When I checked my phone my friend Jes had sent me a message did I want to go kayaking? Truth be told I wanted to sit on my deck in the sun and read but I have two kayaks that have just been sitting all summer waiting to be used and I live steps away from the lake. I agreed to go kayaking with her and enjoy some outside time without ever looking outside.

My morning had been filled with interviews something I haven’t done in a long time selling companies on why they should pick me. I have my fingers crossed I hear some good news. I think I have found a job that will allow me to fill my passions. Dream jobs do exist you just have to find them. (Update I got the job-work from home gig full-time!)

As we loaded up the kayaks and made our way to the lake I could see the white caps of the waves forming. We made a goal to make it down to the park despite the waves. We had quite the fight with the waves but we had a goal and we were going to get there. While paddling until our arms hurt making little progress into the wind we laughed, we took water into our boats and we just said what a nice day it was. We decided to focus on going with the motion and not fighting. It was a beautiful sunny day the breeze on the lake was refreshing. I’m sure to anyone on the shore we looked like we needed to be rescued. I’m not sure if people thought we were laughing or crying.

The waves coming made me think a lot about how life has been, where I want to go, and how the waves are like everyday obstacles.  Like each wave, I can only manage one issue at a time. As each wave came I thought how is it best to deal with this wave? You can choose to fight against the waves and maybe take on some water and some trouble along the way My granny always uses the saying “Is this the hill you want to die on?” be prepared to fight if you feel it is. This saying of grannies put into perspective what is important for me. There are very few things I would die to prove. I enjoy seeing other people’s points of view and thoughts. I know my way isn’t the only way or the right way it’s just another way of doing something.  Having conversations leads to great outcomes. I like to lead the way and be the one who discovers how to do something but just because I did it one way doesn’t mean you can’t do it another. What works for one person may not always work for the next. I realized as I watched Jes get to shore alongside me using a completely different method including some impressive spins but we both made it. Life isn’t about who makes it to the finish line the fastest it’s about enjoying the journey. Tackling the day’s waves with laughter and great company.

These last two months slowing down the pace of life and realizing where I am supposed to be and filling my days with passion have taught me so much. I am thankful for each one of my adventures, my tribe of amazing people, and the opportunities that have come my way.

Start each day with a grateful heart and let the waves take you with the flow to where you’re supposed to be. Remember to listen when other people talk and a conversation takes two people with equal amounts of talking. If you disagree think is this the hill I want to die on? As someone who used to be always right it not worth it. Stop and listen you could learn a lot.

 

As I walked here alone along the beach next to the Atlantic Ocean last week I captured this gorgeous sunset. I was alone at the beach walking for hours and hours trying to see the sunset from all angles. The brilliant colors that danced in the sky which reflected off the beach, every time you turned it appeared to be even prettier as it moved down the beach.  I was also hoping to catch a glimpse of the supermoon that was supposed to be in view yet it remained hidden behind dense clouds. For hours I walked up and down the beach my heart so full of love. My mind wandered to what a hectic week it had been. I was excited to be soon going home. To unpack my suitcase and greet the pets. Vacation is always an experience but there is no place like home.

I spent as much time every day as I could right close to the ocean listening to the waves wash up on the shore. This will forever be my favorite sound. I even braved getting into the ocean with my son something I rarely do. I got thrown and taken out by a few giant waves. The waves don’t wait for anyone many of us got thrown around before we made it out to the point you could flow with the waves. I forgot how big the waves are and how hard the riptide can be. Just swimming for a short time exhausted me. I caught a great tan and even read a couple of books but I was struggling on this trip for a variety of reasons. This sunset and a moment alone is just what I needed. As I looked back and saw my footprints in the sand it got me thinking about what is the footprint of my life that I want to leave behind? I want to share my passion and my lessons with the world. I felt more compelled to write than I ever had. This is when I took this picture to capture the feeling I was having. To remember this moment in time for the rest of my life.

I sat on the beach in a spot that was empty no one near me, it was near dark at this point and I just started writing about whatever came to my mind. Ocean waves and writing have a way of clearing my mind. I needed to find some clarity. I have so many things that have happened lately that have sucked out all my positive energy I admit I was feeling drained and I knew I wanted to change that feeling so I wrote and I cried. Not because I was sad my life is always changing and I am grateful for the path I am on and all the things I am learning. I cried because as I wrote I had so much to be thankful for. I used to write all the things that were bothering me and flow all the negativity which usually just left me feeling sadder.  As I sat and stared at this list I was so grateful for so many people in my life. I have such a tribe of great people surrounding me. I am always changing and finding new ways to work through things. Life is about always learning and changing the way you look at things. Thank you to all those I reached out to lately needing to hear your words of wisdom. For the phone calls shared, the messages shared, the tea, and the wine and snacks I am grateful for each and every one of you. Remind yourself daily what you’re grateful for. Having a grateful heart moves your day in a positive way.

 

I have made a series of choices that have changed my life.  With these choices I learned to never say never.

Here are some examples of times in my life when I said never.

Never say never.

I said I would never have a child. I grew up dreaming of living a life spent alone surrounded by pets. I thought that was living the dream. I never dreamed I would be a mom. I am beyond thankful for my son. My son is the light of my life. I couldn’t imagine life without him. These last nine years of my life have been the best journey along side him. He has taught me so much and we have created so many memories together. He brings out a love I never knew existed in me. He is the little dude version of me and every day I am so thankful this sweet boy is mine.

After my heart dog, Charlie passed away I said I would never have another dog. Never say never within twenty-four hours my son found our Kelso’s dog online and she quickly came to join and run our family. You drive us crazy miss Kelso but we love you. The bond you share with D is beyond cute. He finally got the dog of his dreams. Careful what you wish for.

A year ago I decided to brave something I have always been fearful of. I am trying to face my fears and learn that I am only fearful because of the way I view something. Change the way you think about things and your experience can be very different.

A year ago I signed up for online dating. Something I said I would N-E-V-E-R do.

I said I would never online date. Never say never I braved it and I want to say is ladies holy heck how do you all do it? That process is exhausting! I picked a paid app praying that it would be a little bit better than the free apps. It didn’t restore my faith in dating. Online dating made me question my choices. I was overwhelmed and these dudes consumed a lot of my time. I met a couple of men that made me think I’ll be alone collecting dogs forever. Nothing wrong with that. My life was happy I just always thought my person was out there. I have spent the last six years alone working on myself after a horrible ending to a love story I thought would never end.  Never say never. I was enjoying life just me but I was at the point of being too independent and being alone FOREVER! Again nothing wrong with being alone I just always envisioned spending my time with “my person” but I was beginning to think this person I envisioned didn’t exist.

On the very last day of my membership, I was deleting my information taking down my pictures, and just being over this whole process. I didn’t think I failed I learned a lot about myself and others along the way. I gave myself 90 days which seemed like 900 by the time it wrapped up. As I was deleting my information, I am still not 100% sure how I ended up on this message in my inbox, but after reading this guy’s information, I thought I’d reply to just one more message.

I ended up having a wonderful conversation with this guy, then I chose to meet him. I honestly didn’t think we would hit it off and I almost canceled. At the last minute, I slapped on my lipstick and braved the meeting. I am happy to say it’s been 365ish days and we are still sharing our lives.

I said I would never have anyone live in my house. Seven years ago when I purchased this house it was going to be my house with my son and our dog. Our happy little lakeside living.

Never say never we now share our home. It went from our little house to one that’s again changed around re-painted and added another member in.  I am excited for what the next 365 days hold. I will admit I was nervous to move in together but I realized my fear of living with someone comes from past experiences and I am no longer bringing my past forward. This is a new experience and I will do my best every day to enjoy it.

I said I would never quit my hospital job. A job I loved for the last almost twelve years. Never say never. I did it. I left my job to pursue traveling and to get my book written. I am dedicating time every day to writing something I love. I am looking for the next great work-at-home opportunity to come my way. I am excited about where this journey takes me next.

I am letting go of fear and embracing what comes next. I will no longer say NEVER because I never know what could happen next. I am grateful for every day and I do my best to fill it with love and kindness.

 

Hello, summer, how I have missed you! Today marks the official first day of summer. It started as an overcast rainy kind of day but I love the rain, it awakens all the senses. I love to go out for a walk right after the rain with the rich color and crisp scents.

As I am writing Kelso the corgi dog is sitting beside me hinting every so obviously that she would like to go for a walk. I accidentally asked my son if he was walking to school?  Since that moment miss Kelso has been trying so hard to make me walk. She lives for her daily walk.

Next week marks the last day of school for my son and the last week of work before our summer adventures begin. We have two jam-packed months filled with fun adventures. Make it a summer to remember. Creating moments together that we will forever remember and that fills our hearts. Every year we plan some great summer adventure D’s choice and it always ends up being so much fun. I always have to cut our adventures short due to work. Shift working and being a single mom definitely makes me think I have missed a lot of his years. I am thankful for all the love, support, and help I have to raise my boy. I am blessed to have a village of people supporting and loving my boy.

This year between experiencing death and turning forty life hit me hard. This year taught me more than ever to be thankful for each and every day I am given. I know life can be over at any moment but I hope to make it into my late senior years. The thought of my life being half over well I have so many things I want to do. My bucket list is long!

I started thinking why don’t I do those things? It turns out I was filled with fearfulness. I refuse to live a life filled with fear been there done that don’t recommend it. What did I do? I started facing my fears. I know fear is just the way I look at things. I had to change how I was looking and thinking about things that caused me fear. For example, I have wanted to quit my job for years and pursue something that has meaning and something that uses my skills. I loved my paper-pushing job and the co-worker friends I have gained along the journey but it wasn’t really using my skills and it’s the same kind of day in and day out. I want to do something that fills my heart and I feel like I have made a difference. I have always wanted to work from home. I love where I live. The more I look into jobs that can be done from home the more excited I am. I am no longer fearful I am excited.

As a wise senior once told me Fuck it. Life is too short live it. Follow your heart and your dreams.

Right now I must go and follow my corgi on a walk as much as I want to say I am in charge of my house we all know who the Queen is.

Happy first day of summer everyone. Here is to gorgeous weather, enjoying fun in the sun, lake life, van life, and patio season with friends and family. Onto the next great adventure and writing the next chapter of my life.

Last night I wrote a blog called “Jack of hearts” about my Tuesday plans, however, those plans fell through, and at 6 am I was sitting in front of my screen thinking well now what do I write about? I was thinking what will I do with my day? I have so many projects on the go. So much I want to do and yet today I didn’t want to do anything at all. I was feeling tired and uncharged.

When I stepped outside the sun was shining and it was going to be a gorgeous day. Perfect day for some good tunes and a drive. I decided to take the same drive I have been doing for most of my life. I headed to the farm to visit Gran.

I poured a cup off coffee and headed out. The first song that played off my random play list is a song that since my Opas passing keeps leaving me in tears. It’s hard enough driving to the farm I was hoping this song wouldn’t set the tone of the day.

I keep thinking I will open the door at the farm and hear the greeting my Opa used to say I miss so much. Instead, my tears quickly turned to laughter as Gran’s dog my best dog friend almost knocks me over with excitement. No one in this world greats me with such excitement. Dogs know, he knows I need that when I come to visit. I spend most of my visit playing, laughing, and cuddling this dog who thinks he is a lap dog but in reality, is a large breed dog. He gives great hugs!

I needed this day. The last couple of days I have had a heavy heart overthinking things from the past and worrying about the future that I forgot to take a breath and just enjoy today. I cant change the past and I cant predict the future I can just live each and every day and make them as amazing as I can. Today reminded me of this message.

Gran and I spent our day shopping, we enjoy a delightful lunch together with the best chai latte in Picton. Last week we dined at a local market in Wellington and she hooked me up with a taco stand I would highly recommend. Now I love a taco but these were Doritos bag tacos, yes you heard me. She took me to a guy who cuts open a bag of Doritos either Cool ranch or Nacho cheese and puts all the taco fixings on top of the Doritos and you eat it with a fork. Yes, the way to my heart is tacos and chips. I love a good road trip with snacks. Perhaps I should look into being a travel food blogger. Dream jobs do exist.

Gran and I always spend so much time talking and it makes my heart so full. You have a way of making me forget my worries. Thank you Gran for always being my person. I am so lucky to have you.

On my drive home I got a text message from “Smalls” a girl I am convinced is just the smaller version of myself who reminded me she always has my back no matter how tall I am. Your text brought tears to my eyes and I hope you know how thankful I am for you and how much I love you girl!

I ended my day with the perfect cup of tea shared with my girlfriend Jes. Just like in the old days she and I shared a snack and a show. We have been watching this show now for years together. It that always brings us to tears and leaves us filled with hope. A show that reminds us change is always possible. You have to make the decision to change no one can change you! I need this episode. Thanks girl!

I know there will be bad days and some hard times but thank you ladies this wasn’t the Tuesday I planned but it turns out a change of plans was just what I needed.