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Breathe

Remember to breathe.

Catch your breath.

Focus on your breathing and remember whatever is happening right now is NOT forever. Nothing you have done in your life has been forever. Everything we experience in our lives is temporary. This moment you are worried about will pass. Just breathe. One thing you can always control in any situation is your breathing. One thing that can always calm us down is breathing.

Such a simple concept yet so many people forget about it. Breathe and focus.

Take a few deep breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth. There’s a great technique of counting your breath to distract yourself from whatever is going on. You count in 4 on the inhale, hold for a count of seven, and then let go of a big breath out the mouth for a count of eight. This simple counting technique has saved me from saying things I know I would later regret. This technique has allowed me to slow down and process through the anger I sometimes feel.

Sometimes it just takes nineteen seconds to calm down. Sometimes I have to do this a few times over before I am calm. Sometimes I have to do this with my eyes closed in a safe place to feel like the effects of this practice working. I do this to calm down before I react in a way in which I do not wish to react. When I am calm I am acting from a place of love. When I am fired up mad, oh you better watch out, my place of anger and negativity is strong it wants to rip out and destroy all the positive work I am doing. Fight the urge. Breathe. I know my place of positivity is where I want to react from. Sometimes I just need to catch my breath in order to get back there. Slow down, focus, and breathe.

I admit I was once a very negative person. Every part of my life was negative. I wasted a lot of years being mad at temporary situations that I chose to drag around forever. I could not let go. I carried around a lot of past baggage. I relived moments that should have been temporary over and over again trying to figure out how I could fix them. You cannot fix the past. You can let go and learn how to deal with temporary situations in better, healthier ways. Always be willing to learn. Deep in the depths of my negativity, I never cared about breathing. I lived life in the fastest lane I could find. I didn’t care if I was dead or alive. I wasn’t kind and I wasn’t calm.

Shifting to positivity was not easy for me, being negative came easy to me. I did it for so many years it came naturally. Being positive was a struggle. Learning to breathe helped me battle negativity. I knew change was necessary. I knew I had to change every part of my life. I realized when I am angry I hold my breath. I was unable to even let my breath go.

When you start to get upset how do you react? How do you breathe?
Soon as I can feel my anger or negativity rising up in me I immediately focus on my breathing. If I can get through the next few seconds I can remain calm. Sometimes when I close my eyes I do a little visualization to go along with the breathing. Bring myself back down. Remain calm and react from a place of love.

Before you think this works for me every time. No, it does not. I am not perfect. I am a work in progress. No one is perfect we are all just doing our best. I simply catch my breath, focus on my breathing and I do my best, and if you best isn’t good enough fuck it.

Breathe, focus, calm down and react from a place of love, kindness, and positivity. Slow down and focus on your breathing before reacting. You cannot take back words or actions. Find your breath find your calmness.

Breathe in the positive thoughts and breathe out the negative thoughts.

What consumes your mind controls your life….

What’s on your mind?

Is your life centered on what you’re thinking about?

Are your thoughts positive or negative?

Most of my life I wasted being obsessing about all the things that I perceived were wrong or could go wrong in my life. I wasted so much time for years on repeat worrying about the things that could go wrong that hadn’t even happened yet. Yes, I thought I could see into my negative future.

Does this sound familiar?

Every single thought I had about my life was negative. You would be shocked to know my life was in a constant state of negativity.

The mind is powerful. What you put out to the world comes back to you. I put out to the world for many years that I hated my life, my luck was bad, I was unlovable, I was ugly, I was never going to succeed, I would never have enough money, and that I was an all-around horrible person.

What caused me to feel like this? It was my repetitive negative thoughts. I beat myself down and I let myself go. I gave up caring. I was stuck in a dangerous comparison game. You know the one I am talking about. I only saw the good side of people but the worst version of myself.

My shift from negative to positive came when I no longer wanted to live. When I was ready to give up on myself and for what? My negative thoughts consumed me. I chose to only see the darkness, not the light.

Deep in the depths of my negativity, there was always a teeny tiny light of positivity trying to get out of the blackness of negativity that consumed me. When I finally gave up I laid down in my bathtub ready to leave this world my thoughts had won. My dog jumped in the tub and put his sweet little head on my shoulder. He looked at me with those cute eyes and giant ears and it hit me I knew I wasn’t ready to go.

Deep, deep down like far down I always thought I was destined for a greater purpose in life. But with every negative thought, my positive light got smaller and smaller. I almost burnt that light out with the darkness of negativity. In the end I had a microscopic amber still glowing and I knew it was time for a big change.

When I decided to change my life I changed the way I thought about things and what I put out to the world. I also decided it was time to cut out the negative people in my life. You attract like-minded people into your life with your thoughts. I had a lot of negative people in my life; after all, misery does love company. Surround yourself with good people and life gets easier.

I started searching for programs, books, podcasts, speaking events, and hit the worldwide web in search of how to become more positive. I wanted to know to reprogram your thoughts into those of more positive. Is it possible to erase negativity and replace it with positivity? YES! Consume your mind with positivity.

I am not going to sugar coat this change is not easy. Change does not happen overnight. The change will strip you down to the bare depths of who you are. I will say change is worth it. It is never too late to make a change. You are never too old to make a change.

Let go of the negativity, focus on the positivity. Watch your life change for the best. I have never been happier with the changes in my life.

I choose to let go of my past.

I choose to let go of my negativity.

I choose to be present.

I choose to see the good.

I choose to be positive.

Nicknames…

Oh goodness here is the cold hard truth I am just going to say it. I am terrible with names. I have a hard time remembering names.

Since my first friend, I made I have been giving people and pets nicknames. It seems to be the only way I can remember names is to give them a fun nickname. My nicknames are usually based on how we met or something about how I remember you. Another truth, I can usually remember your dog’s names or other pet’s names before the owners ha. I swear I try to remember names but I come up blank. I hate that awkward moment when I have to ask your name again. I can’t count the number of times I have to repeat my name or spell my name. For the record this does not bother me, nor does it bother me if you forget my name because it’s not a common name or common spelling. I was nervous using my real name for my website because of the spelling, but it’s my website what else would I call it? I am Sascha Davis.

At my current job at the hospital, I work somewhere different every shift and so in my travels I meet a lot of people. It is hard to keep everyone’s names straight. First names are hard enough let alone if I am required to know your last names as well. Forgive me, friends, family, co-workers, and people of the community you all get nicknames. I don’t know why but I can remember nicknames and most time I struggle to think oh what’s so and so’s real name?

I will admit my nicknames catch on and I don’t mean for that to happen. I know I am not the only one who struggles with names. I don’t like that I am bad with names but it is the cold hard truth. If you have any tricks or tips on how to remember names please do share them with me.

I grew up with many nick-names of my own. The first nickname I can remember came from my mom, she always called me Bee. Not sure why I was bee but I was. Over the years I have been given a lot of nicknames. Sassy has been my nickname that stuck since high school days. I guess I can admit I am a bit sassy ha. My best friend and a lot of people call me by my last name Davis. I am a true Davis through and through. Most commonly, people seem to call me tall girl or something based on my height. I kinda stick out in the crowd. I am six foot three but I always dreamed of being seven feet tall. Yes, I embrace being tall. It is who I am. I like to think that people are forced to look up to me and chase after me when I walk. I don’t mean to walk so fast but it’s hard to slow these legs. A lot of my nicknames are my name just spelled funny because let’s face it my parents set me up adding an extra letter to make me “unique”. Don’t get me wrong I love my name and I couldn’t imagine changing my name but it is impossible to find anything with my name unless I custom order it, or maybe if I lived in Europe somewhere?. I know a few of you reading this blog can relate to the unique name dilemma. Not only do I have to custom order my pants, which reminds me a friend of mine calls me long legs sally for this reason, but just once I wanna get the key chain or the pen right off the shelf like the classic named people of the world. My son he can always find his name on these types of items. You’re welcome, son.

Do you have a nickname? How did you get that nickname? I love it when people share nick-names stories with me. Be sure to reach out and share your story. Or if you have a nickname for me also feel free to share. I could always use a good laugh!

Tattoos and memories…

I have collected some tattoos over the course of my lifetime. At this time I have eight tattoos and a few more designs mulling around in my head. It is true tattoos can be addictive. I didn’t stop at one and I always seem to come up with more ideas of what I would like to get next.

Each tattoo reminds me of a person, place, or time in my life. I cherish each one of my tattoos and I love them all. I am thankful that I have no regrets and my tattoos have all turned out great. I don’t have any miss spelled words or art that you can’t quite tell what it is. I would not suggest rushing out to get a tattoo. Take time and plan something out with meaning. Also, they hurt! Find a good artist you trust and don’t think cheaper means it will be of great quality. It’s going to be on you forever, think it through.

My first three tattoos are all of stars. I have always had a love of stars. I have three stars on my back upper, middle, and lower. It kind of became a joke that my life is a three-star rating. I will always have my life as a work in progress because as long as I am alive I am always going to be working on making my life better. Making it the best it can be.

I have a Cadillac side piece tattoo that makes me laugh because it didn’t go quite as I planned not many of my plans do. After owning the big old black caddy for 10 years, I decided to have my dad in the dead of a Canadian winter when it was freezing, go out to the garage to un-tarp the car, and get the exact measurements of the front hood emblem. My plan was to get the exact hood emblem from the caddy tattooed on my side. I absolutely love to watch that hood emblem dance at the end of the hood in a ray of sunshine. I miss that car when I am not driving and it just brings me a feeling of pure happiness. You cannot be sad on the crushed velour seats of the caddy. I wanted to always remember that feeling of pure happiness. I took the exact measurements and pictures to my tattoo guy who drew it up and placed it on my side and it looked like a tiny microscopic dot on my giant side. We both laughed and said blow it up to fit my side. That is how I ended up with my entire right side as a statement piece. You can’t miss the caddy symbol now. BAM!

I have two tattoos inspired by a former friend who helped me more than she will ever know. Our lives have parted and gone down separate paths but I hope she is doing well. When I moved home to Ontario from Vancouver Island I missed the island so very much. All I ever wanted was to find a starfish at the ocean. I would spend hours and hours sitting at the ocean trying to heal my broken heart. Tasting my own salty tears and dreaming of a better life. My starfish and shell tattoo on my left foot is forever a reminder of the days I buried my toes in the sand at the Pacific Ocean. It reminds me of all my wonderful Island family and friends. My friend Kelly had a starfish tattooed on her elbow so it’s not matching tattoo but she did inspire it.

That same friend and I have matching tattoos on our hips. Even though our lives have taken us on many different paths I will always be thankful for the times we shared. We played countless hours of the Nintendo game Dr. Mario. We blasted the tunes, we stacked the pills and we killed the germs. We have matching Dr. Mario tattoos with hidden hearts inside pixel pills. Mine is green because that was her favourite colour and hers is purple because that was my favourite colour. The picture of us after getting those tattoos is my favourite picture of us. I couldn’t have survived all my life’s struggles without you girl. Thank you!

My left arm is where I wear my heart. I have a little corgi outline tattoo that is running towards my heart which I got as a fundraiser for the humane society. Get a dog tattoo to help save animals um yes sign me up. I love my corgi. Last year I decided to get what I described as my dog Charleston done in royal derp. He was a royal dog with a derpy personality. I wanted the portrait to capture his personality with a crown hanging off one of his giant ears. I gave that idea to my tattoo girl. I had an appointment booked when she got injured and had to delay I was so upset but then she came back and was better than ever. I have the ultimate royal derp corgi tattoo. It is the perfect image and captures him beautifully. He, unfortunately, passed away and I swore I could never survive life without him and I thought this tattoo would make me upset when he was gone but I find myself smiling every day being reminded how lucky I was to have shared eight beautiful years with him. Also, the wild story of finding his sister and now everyone just thinks this isn’t the king tattooed on me but the queen. Maybe I need a queen corgi tattoo on my right arm?

What will I tattoo next? Am I done? No, I don’t think I am done. I am a dreamer. I always have the next idea dancing in my head. I would absolutely love a pink flamingo standing on one leg up my leg in bright neon electric pink. If I was a bird I would be the loudest pink flamingo ever!

Where do your thoughts lead you today?

Do you start your day with a good thought or a bad thought? Are your thoughts distracting you?

When I was trapped in negativity every thought I had, from the moment I was awake, was negative. Nothing ever went and well, it’s not a mystery why. Having nothing but negative thoughts isn’t really a great way to start or finish any day. Now I try to start each day off with a good thought. I usually start each day off writing down the first good thought that comes to mind as like a mantra for the day. I find it helps manage the days that don’t go the way I wish they would. Most days I have distracting thoughts, but these can be good as well. When I find myself being distracted by negativity I refer to my good mantra of the day. The first good thought to keep my day going good. This blog is about where my distraction took me today.

Today like many days before I sit down to write the idea in my head, which was nothing to do with horoscopes, stars, or psychics, yet this is what I wrote. Like I said before, sometimes when I sit down to write I have so many ideas I cannot write fast enough and sometimes no ideas come to me, and then I find myself distracted online. Today I started an idea and got stumped so I took a break to check my email and ended checking up my horoscope too. Something I haven’t done in a while. I used to be obsessed with what the stars have in store for me today? I would quickly grab the Saturday paper away from my family and friends and read my horoscope. You know in the days before the internet.

I was recently at a night sky viewing with so many shooting stars. I can’t wait for all my wishes to come true. I recently was having a conversation about what do the stars hold for the future with a friend when I decided to look up my horoscope and this is the blog you get this week. My distracted thoughts.

I have always had a love of stars. I would lay outside for hours on end just staring up at the sky, waiting for a shooting star to make a wish upon. I always believed the stars had powers. I always believed the stars watched out for me and kept me safe at night. I believed that the people who passed away here on earth became stars and watched out for me. If that’s true I have some of the best stars in the sky.

My horoscope sign is Pisces. When you google about Pisces you will find an overwhelming amount of information but I found the personality part interesting as it says: “As the final sign, Pisces has absorbed every lesson — the joys and the pains, the hopes and the fears — learned by all of the other signs. This makes these fish the most psychic, empathetic, and compassionate creatures of the astrological wheel.”

I am always saying look for the lesson. Things happen to teach us a lesson, be it bad or good look for the lesson. Life is a series of lessons if we pay close attention we have a lot to learn.

I always wished I could have been psychic just to know what it feels like. Having the ability to see forward or back in time seems like such an amazing concept. I admit I didn’t think it was a real thing. It seemed too good to be true. How could a complete stranger who just met you know so much? That was until I went to a psychic who was able to talk to my grandmother who had passed and knew such vivid details. The message she told me and the way she described her, blew me away. Few moments have ever made me speechless but this reading did. I kinda chuckle, my grandma was a very strong lady and I knew if anyone was coming through that passed away she would have elbowed her way to the front of the line. That psychic ladies’ reading still makes me think about my life.

I am a water sign and I love to be close to the water I believe the water is my happy place. The water allows me to focus and resets my thinking, clears my mind. If I can see the stars and water then that’s a bonus. I love where I live.

Allow the good thoughts into your life and watch your life change. Surround yourself with good people and life is better. Where will your thoughts take you today?

Water…

I have always lived near the water. I believe water can heal your troubles. Watch the water. With each wave, you take in the good and wash out (let go of) the bad.

There is no better feeling than spending the day by the water. From the river to the lake, and on to the ocean, I love it all so very much. My dad lives on a river, I live near the lake and the Ocean is my go-to destination, my happy place. I hope to stick my feet in all the oceans before my time here is over. The river runs by fast most of the year and then almost comes to a stop to enjoy summer. The river has little fish and turtles which are a delight to watch. The lake has the best sounding waves and is great for swimming. The geese are always down at the lake enjoying and making loud honking noises. The ocean teaches us a lot about tides and safety. The Ocean is forever changing. The vast beauty of being able to look out and not see the land is captivating. To catch a glimpse of a whale is beyond words. Collecting starfish and sand dollars on the beach of the Pacific Ocean brings back such fond memories that I share with my family.

I do not think there is a better feeling than the warm, bright sunshine on your skin. I love it when it’s windy and the wind almost blows you around. You have that amazing wild, wind-blown hair and the waves become alive. I could listen to the soothing sounds of the waves crashing all day long. Watching white caps come towards the shore is hypnotic. I love listening to the sounds of the rocks and sand being waved around. I love when wild weather forces the shore into revealing a whole new level underneath.

With every changing day, the lake I live near is never the same. It is one of the most beautiful places to watch the sunrise. I feel like it reminds me that every day is a new opportunity for everyone to bring change upon themselves and the world.
Some days we have bad days and it’s like a giant wave is sucking us under. That moment we lose control and you have to figure out how to get to the surface. You have to figure out how to get back to the surface and which way to swim to safety. Sometimes in life, we all feel like this. We all have moments that wave us, knock us down, and make us question life. But for every moment like that, I look at the lake and its calm. It looks like its glass. It’s not moving it reminds me each day is a new beginning and we can be in control.

When I was seventeen years old I wrote a poem while sitting near the water. I was at the start of a very dark place. I was obsessed with slam poetry especially if it was dark and left me wanting more. From seventeen to eighteen I was processing a lot of feelings and wrote some dark things but this is one I always enjoyed.

Let the water wash over me.
Let the water take over me.
Let the water become me.
Let the water wash away my fears.
Let the water wash away my tears.
Let the water wash away all my imperfections.
Let me come out of the water clean.
Let me come out of the water a new me.

I feel like every time I sit by the water no matter the trouble I am facing it has the power to heal my heart. The water lets me come back to a new me. It helps through all of my senses to reset my feelings. It gets me back on track. I can see a change in how water is every day. I can taste the sweetness in the air. I can feel the rocks, sand, and cool water. I can smell the freshness. I can hear the powers of the water healing.

Being near the water is my happy place! Get out and enjoy the water.

Oldie…

The dream of writing a book has been in my head since I was a kid. Recently I signed up for a week’s writing course through Hay House. Louise Hay was a huge inspiration in my life. The first time I attended a Hay House convention they were talking about a writer’s course and if you were the lucky book picked they would make you a published Hay House Author. That has been my dream now for years. I am going to write this book I have in mind, no matter what happens. I always love to dream. The dream of being a published Hay House Author is my book dream.

I was listening to the zoom conference on replay because with shift work I missed every one of the live chats but the first one. Thankful they have the video replay.

The conference was on zoom with Reid Tracy now CEO of Hay House and Kelly Notara’s. They definitely got me thinking and threw a wrench into my book idea. I now have a clearer idea of what I wanna present. Back to the writing board I go. I know it will all come together and this will be the book of my dreams. I can do it!

Since I was a kid, as soon as I could write, I have been dreaming of a book. I always knew my book would somehow be centered around my love on animals. I have always felt like I could communicate much better with animals than with people. I understand the messages from animals.

In the conference they were talking about a first book might be the book before your book. This made me nervous I don’t want this book to be that kind of book. I want this to be THE book. Then I remembered wait this would be my second book. When I was around 10 years old I wrote a horse themed book complete with a hardcover that was made of wallpaper. I began to wonder whatever happened to that book?

Great news, while looking for something completely unrelated in my storage area low and behold I found my first book. Complete with hardcover made out of flowered wall paper. It’s bound together with a combination of staples and duct tape, my go to supplies. It is an original first edition copy that didn’t make the best sellers list. It is titled Oldie locks and the 5 ponies and my pony dawn says it’s a great read on a Saturday or Sunday. I figured as an adult people always worked during the week and spent all weekend reading. I dedicated it to my Opa and Lauren a.k.a Granny. I spent most of my childhood on the farm and the reason I thought I could, and still do, communicate with animals is because of Granny. She has an unbelievable way with animals.

The story takes you on a journey of my love of horses and my fear even as a kid of getting old. The book starts and I describe how Oldie puts on wrinkle cream every morning because even as a kid I was terrified of getting wrinkles and being an old lady. I don’t say how old Oldie is in the book but I would have said in her 30’s if you asked me then, that’s as long as I thought people lived.

In the book I have 4 ponies in the barn. Dawn was my pony growing up she healed my heart from all my little kid problems that I thought were life ending. She was my very best friend and the reason I wrote the book. The other pony named in the book is Kherry which was grannies horse when I was a kid. She was an Arabian horse with a huge personality of her own. I made up the other fictional ponies in this story and I laugh now they are named Anna and Dan which are now the names of my best friend and my son.

In the ten page book I talk about my dog Kelly who was a Dalmatian and grannies dog Sky a boarder collie always coming to the barn. I am shocked to walk in on Anna and Dawn talking. I thought talking horses would blow the readers mind. I also secretly wished my pony Dawn could have talked to me. The book ends with Anna having a foal which I named Prince and it ends with me telling the readers he dies at 35. Truth be told I thought everyone animal or human died at 35. I typed out all 10 pages and did my own art work. I probably should have invested in someone else to do the art. Wow, my people and horse drawing skills.

In the back of the book it says that I wrote it at age 11. I am so very glad to have found this gem in storage. My son is now reading the book and asking me so many questions.

I am excited to be writing another book where I still believe animals teach us lessons of life. I am happy to report I no longer believe everyone dies in their 30’s, oh goodness. I am thankful that in this book I won’t have to use my amazing lack of art skills to portray my message.

I am thankful for the writing convention that threw a wrench into my book plan but put me on a clearer path. I don’t know when the book will be done. I guess that will be when my message is out the way I want it to be. It is a work in progress. I am excited and enjoying the journey.

I am thinking about doing guest blog spots so I can focus all my writing time into my book. Would anyone wanna do a guest blog? Reach out to me via e-mail. If I can blog you can too! It’s been a great experience sharing with you all.

Letter C

This blog is brought you by the letter c.

Some of the things I love the most start with the letter C. I was making a list of what I am grateful for like I often do and I noticed most of the things I Love start with the letter C. I love Corgis, Cadillacs, cake, coffee, crying and cuddles.

Most of my life I cursed the fact that my parents spelled my name with a “unique” silent letter C. I feel like I was forever telling people how to pronounce and spell my name.

Corgis. The queen’s dog. I have had the absolute joy of having my heart dog for 8 beautiful years. Charleston forever saved my life. He was the one animal that knew exactly what I needed when I felt I couldn’t go on. I planned to take my life and he saved my life. When he passed he left I giant hole in my heart. Without him I felt I couldn’t go on. The crying and over thinking about his passing hurt my soul. I believe in miracles and then we found Kelsey the corgi who’s original name was Chelsea. The C is healing my heart. She is the drama Queen and constantly makes us laugh and bosses us around. She picked us and I will forever be grateful for all the time we share. I am forever grateful for all the people and their corgis that have come into my life as a result of my corgis. I have the best corgi family!

My love of Cadillacs comes from my dad. He purchased a Cadillac just as I was getting my license. Over the last twenty years we have shared a lot of fun, random road trips, memories and even some tears in the Caddy. That car has brought me so much joy. Each and every time my butt hits the blue crushed velour driver seat I am the happiest I could be. Caddy cruising is where it’s at. Thank you to everyone has taken a cruise with me and who have sang the Caddy song with me. Cheers! Here’s too many more random road trips.

Cake. I freaking love cake! From the first birthday cake my Oma (grandma) ever made I was hooked. I honestly cannot live without cake. When I moved out on my own I used to go to the store and buy cakes. Sometimes I even had them personalize them with a name, not a real person’s name and I ate it. If there is a rehab for cake addiction I need to go. I love any get together that has a cake. If you’re having cake count me in. I will say that no one ever made the “butter cake” like my Oma. I looked forward to that cake each and every birthday. I do love all kinds of cake but cheesecake has to be my top! I haven’t had a cheesecake I didn’t like. I have driven all over in search of the best cake. I honestly wouldn’t admit if I found it. I will continue searching my whole life and eating all the cakes.

Coffee. I cannot function without coffee. I love a good fancy coffee or a flavoured coffee. I like my coffee with milk or whip cream but not just regular cream. I start each day with a cup of coffee and most of the day I can be found sipping coffee. I am always drinking coffee while I write. I come from a whole family of coffee drinkers. I honestly do not understand how people function without coffee. I love the smell, the taste, the kick of energy, feeling that I can take on whatever task I need to get done. My son will tell you don’t talk to me until my morning coffee is done.

Crying. I have cried so many tears in my lifetime I am shocked I haven’t drown. I have a huge heart. I love hard but I also feel heartbreak hard. I feel so much better after a cry. Big puffy eyes. I believe it’s better to get your feeling out then hold them in. No shame in crying. I do find though that it’s best to cry in the Cadillac. The crushed velour soaks up the tears so much faster than any other fabric. I am forever thankful when my heart was destroyed my corgi Charleston licked up my tears and always cuddled with me.

Cuddles. Some of my best cuddles I shared with someone I thought would love me forever. That changed but my love of cuddles didn’t. I have my corgi cuddles. Kelsey cuddles the same way Charleston did with her head on my shoulder. First time she did that you can guarantee I teared up. I have to admit that my ultimate favourite cuddles are baby cuddles. The kind of cuddles that make your arms go numb but you wouldn’t dare move. I am so thankful for friends with babies who let me cuddle. I am always available. Being tall has it perks most babies fall asleep cuddling me. I walk around for a few minutes and bam they pass out hard. I think it’s because being so high up the air quality makes them sleepy. That’s been a joke with friends for years. Recently I had cake and baby cuddles. Best day ever!

When I can combine things from the list of c’s that I love it’s an even better day. I often have a corgi in the Cadillac, or coffee or a cry, sometimes all the above. I can’t bring myself to eat in the car and I hear it’s distracted driving if you cuddle and drive.

I am SasCha. I am unique. I have a list of C’s that I love. I am grateful for all the corgis, Cadillacs, cake, coffee, crying and cuddles that have brought me close to the people in my life. My heart is so full and I am so grateful.

Chance to change….

I was having a conversation with my Opa (grandpa) while I was doing the interview for man behind the motto part two. Opa shared with me how he got into building. My whole life Opa has been building or dreaming of building something. If he hasn’t already built it then you can find the plans of what he wants to build on his desk. He is always pitching the next great building idea. His imagination runs wild. You can see his passion when he talks about building.

My childhood home was an old school house he flipped into a lovely family home. Growing up it was a mansion to me. It had everything you could dream of. It had the most beautiful windows in the back facing the creek. It was the perfect childhood family home on a quiet street in a small town. I lived in this house for seventeen years and I was utterly heartbroken when we left. I can still remember my entire address and phone number despite having moved many times since then.

Opa didn’t build the house I live in today but he helped me find it and purchase it. I trusted his expert advice that it was a great home. He hasn’t been wrong. My son and I love this house. It’s on an even quieter street than the one I grew up on and the lake is just steps away. My son has informed me he is never moving out. It’s our slice of paradise. Thank you Opa.

At the time of his first house flipping project Opa was living in Pickering Ontario on the shores of Lake Ontario. He was working at Johns Manville plant which manufactured asbestos cement pipes for the construction industry. He worked at this plant for ten years, which later was the beginning of investigation of the dangers of asbestos to the health of workers. Most workers became ill or died due to asbestosis or meseothelioma. While working at the asbestos plant Opa’s mother and brother in Germany sold a property and he received five thousand dollars, which he says forever changed his life. He described it as big money at the time. Opa used that five thousand dollars as a down payment to purchase what he described as a” mansion” in Whitby Ontario. He flipped this house by renovating it into a four plex which he later sold and made a profit. Being that it was some forty plus years ago he doesn’t remember exactly how much money he made. This is what started his building career. He’s gone on to build so many houses and apartment buildings I have lost track of them all.

When I asked if he remembered what the mansion looked like, he went on to paint me a picture of a big red brick house with a steeple like top. He couldn’t remember the exact street address. He didn’t have a picture. He could tell me it was located on a street by the lawn bowling center and a senior’s retirement home. He described the things he remembered from the street and where the house was situated. The hill you had to climb and that the house was on the corner on the right hand side.

Mission accepted. I wanted to find this mansion. I wanted to see the house that started it all. I got a cup of coffee and turned to google street view and quickly got to work. Street view is an amazing tool, you can take a trip down memory lane. I started with locating the area he described and then I went up and down the streets in search of this house. I am happy to say I found it. I am now trying to figure out the history of what it’s selling price has been. It seems that houses in the area go for upwards of 600,000. It’s a rental property and I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s worth well over a million.

I was talking to my mom about this house story, asking her what she remembered from this time. She would have been nearing her teen years. She often talks about her childhood home in Pickering as being the most beautiful home. It was on Lake Ontario and had a pool. We drove there once, the house is no longer there but the view was spectacular.

While I was talking about how five thousand dollars changed Opa’s life my mom shared with me how she received five thousand dollars from her grandpa (her mom’s dad) when he passed away that forever changed her life. She used that money for her divorce and as a down payment to put herself through nursing school. I still to this day do not know how my mom went to nursing school with two small children. You go girl.

I found it interesting that both my Opa and my mother would say that five thousand dollars forever changed their lives.
I don’t have a great five thousand dollar story to end this blog. I have always been blessed with help from my wonderful family. I have always had a job that’s provided me with enough money to afford my life. I am grateful for all the help I have received along the way and I try to pay it forward whenever I can. I always joke about winning the lotto but the truth is my life is so beautiful, my heart is so full no amount of money could possibly make it better.

I find it very interesting that when Opa began to realize the potential hazards of his job at Johns-Manville when he saw the men around him dying and getting sick, he suddenly had a chance to change his life with that $5000. When my mom’s marriage was crumbling and no real profession to support her and her children on her own, she suddenly had a chance to change her life with that $5000. So I guess I can all I can conclude is that if things look bad be ready to make your life change when the opportunity comes along.

I do…

These two simple words, I do, I have promised to say on more than one occasions but I never followed through. I have touched on this subject before but I am a run-away bride. I have planned the whole wedding down to every small detail and then I run. I once ran so far I left the province I have always called my home. I can say running will not solve your problems. Problems follow you wherever you go.

I have been lost. I have struggled. My life has not worked out like I planned. I have not found my forever, my happily ever after.

As a kid I danced around in a fluffy pink ball gown dress dreaming of my wedding. I dreamed of being married. I dreamed of my fairy tale day.

I have dreamed.

I have failed.

I do believe that my happily ever after exists. I do believe in love. I believe the right person will one day find me, at this point I think he’s lost but who am I to rush. I wonder and I dream how we will meet. Have we met? Who knows. That is the journey of life. I made it this far on my own I am in no hurry.

I admit today I love my life. I have created a life I celebrate. I am excited to take on each day. I want to share my hopes, dream, failures, successes and lessons learned. I am not ashamed.

I do not regret my past I embrace it for it has made me into the fierce woman I am today. I am grateful for all my failures. My failures have lead me to where I am today. I am fulfilling my dreams. I am no longer scared. I have a better understanding of what I want from life because of the love I have experienced.

I am grateful to have experienced love, it was not forever but it helped my heart see the good in the world and in the people I have met.

I admit I am a hopeless romantic. I love romantic movies that brings me to tears. I love weddings that make me cry. Love hits me right in the feelings and I love a good happy, sappy ending. I one hundred percent do “ugly cry” at real weddings too. I love an exchange of vows that just grabs your heart strings and makes you feel like they have found forever. Also wedding cake, let’s be serious, I freaking love cake.

I have failed many times over at love. I am thankful for each relationship that came into my life the good, bad and the down-right ugly. Every relationship opened my eyes up to what I want in life. Each person taught me so much about myself and what I am thankful for.

I have had to heal my heart from the damage done. I had to let go of what I feared to let go of. My heart has been left empty. I have felt heart break. Letting go, forgiving and self-love are some of the hardest lessons to learn. I guarantee they are the most freeing. I feel so much lighter and yet my heart is so full.

I let go.

I forgive.

I love myself.

I am loved.

I have created a life filled with love. I open the door to my house and I am instantly surrounded by love. I love where I live. My son is the most amazing lovable little boy. He tells me millions of times a day how much he loves me. He writes me little love note reminders. He makes my heart full. I never knew the love of a mother until you came into my life. I am a single mother and so I get double the amount of love.

My dog Charleston taught me what unconditional love from an animal was. He was my heart dog. He saved my life. When he passed he left the biggest hole in my heart I wasn’t sure I could ever fill. That was of course until his sister Queen Kelsey came into our lives. I am beyond grateful for her wild adventures. Life has an amazing way of giving your heart the love you need if you’re open to it.

I have once again opened my heart.

I may not have said “I do” to someone forever, not yet. The great search continues, but I have filled my heart with self-love. Love from my family. Love from my friends. Love from my corgis. I have the greatest family, friends and corgis. Thank you to each and every one of you! I love you all so very much.

Be sure to tell those in your life how much you love them.

Tomorrow is never promised, so love and appreciate the people who are in your life.