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If I had to pick a word I needed today, this week, this month,  and generally, in my life, it would be the word strength. To have the ability to be both mentally and physically strong is where I am always striving to be. I am always working on my personal strength.

Maintaining my strength is a huge part of my everyday life. It is something I focus a great deal of my time towards.

Physically I have always worked on being in the best shape I can be while still enjoying the things I love. Let’s be honest, I will never give up eating cake! In order to balance my love of snacks, I have to keep my body moving.

I have always loved to run. Running helps clear my mind, challenges my body, and leaves me feeling recharged. After a run, I feel like I can do anything. It’s a great sense of accomplishment to make it to the end of a run.  I make time to run because it’s important to both my physical and mental strength. If something is important to you make time to enjoy it. Make time for yourself.

I run indoors on an elliptical due to my injuries and pain level tolerance. I am working towards the ability to run outdoors on a scenic path. I need to be outside. I want to feel the sun upon my face. I am grateful for the bossy corgi dog Kelso and her never-ending demands to be walked. Walking gets me outdoors, clears my mind, and reminds me of the many things I am grateful for. It’s also where I do most of my podcast listening.

Yoga is another great strength builder and has amazing physio benefits that help my injuries. Yoga has helped me work on my back, leg, and pelvic floor injuries. I know I am strong because I find ways to work around my injuries. Don’t let anything stop you from doing something you love to do. There is always a way to make it work. Find that way. I am determined to heal my injuries and always move forward. I use my mental strength and positive thoughts to move my physical journey forward. I show up and I complete my goals. I believe in myself. I always have a goal to work towards.

What’s my current physical goal? This might sound silly but I have never been able to do a push-up. I want to be physically strong enough to rip them out like nothing. I am taking weights, and full-body strength classes to work towards this goal. I know I will accomplish this goal with a huge smile on my face.

Mental strength is something I also work on every day. It was a hard realization in my life to know I was mentally weak. I had nothing but negative thoughts and this inability to cope. If things got tough I gave up, I shut down, and I didn’t communicate. I thought that’s how you kept from being hurt. I was never taught how to be mentally strong. I let things tear me down. I found it hard to discover and maintain mental strength. A huge part of this came when I shifted the way I think and the way I communicate. I first learned how to communicate positively and effectively. I no longer react from a place of anger. I know that I don’t have to react to everything. I can take as much time as I need to process and react. I sometimes need time to collect my thoughts and process my feelings. I am very aware that I do not want to say hurtful things. I want the things I say and write to fill others with positivity and a sense if I can do it you can too.

Meditation has played a huge part in my mental strength. Meditation allows me a few minutes to myself to reflect on anything I am feeling. Mental strength is having the skills needed to cope in a kind manner. Remember what you say and do deeply affects how others feel. In a world where you can be anything, please choose to be kind.

Strength comes from within. Discover your strength and become unstoppable.

I have great strength to accomplish my goals.

 

 

 

 

Lately, I have been writing and trying to organize what information goes into the chapters for my book to be. I write when the thought comes to me and try to organize it after. This is causing me a bit of a headache. I don’t know how to write a book so it’s giving me a bit of a headache. It’s taking longer than I thought but I am not giving up!

I am an avid reader, currently winning my book reading challenge. I have my Oma (grandmother) to thank for my love of reading. We didn’t always get along but we always bonded over books. She always passed on such great books some of which I am re-reading years later and falling in love with all over again. No greater feeling than to have a good book sitting in the sunshine getting lost in a story forgetting all about the day. Dreaming of how the book plays out. I love that feeling.

I love that my son is now reading chapter books. He reads to me so proudly and I can’t wipe the smile off my face. I can see the love of reading in his eyes. We sat on the couch today (Monday) home from a snow day reading and sharing what our books are about. I hope this love of books never fades.

I am on a mission to find him the books that at his age changed my life. Choose your own adventure books. Does anyone else remember these gems? You could be reading along and then bam a decision was presented on how you wanted the book to go and whatever you chose you had to skip to that page and see if you made the right decision. It was a challenge to make it to the end of the book. These books made me reflect on life. These books were like real-life every day you make decisions big or little that could change your life. Would you choose differently if you could skip ahead and see how it ended? Or would you want to go back and do something differently?

I think life is made up of many chapters in our book of life. Some people or characters come and stay for a little bit, some pass in and out, some stay for many chapters. Each and everyone we meet helps us choose our next adventures. I am thankful for the people I have had in my life and the people currently in my life. I have been on some great adventures. Some good some not so good. Some great people some not so great people. Every person has taught me some great lessons. I didn’t always understand them at the time but I trust the process of life and where it is taking me. I know I am here to have great adventures. I keep choosing to take adventures.

I wouldn’t change any of the choices I have made as they have landed me where I am today. I am the best version of myself and I love my life. I am always changing and forever trying new things. I keep the chapters interesting you could say. I am doing my best and if my best isn’t good enough Fuck It. This was my Opa (grandfather’s) motto and it got me to where I am in life today. He was a huge part of my life and made many chapters filled with memories and adventures.

What does the next chapter of life look like for you?

Remember you are in charge of writing your book and choosing your adventures. Make this life the best life you can.

 

Have you ever found that perfect tea or coffee mug? The one that has a picture or a quote that just captures perfectly how you’re feeling? Have you ever found that friend that just gets you? I am lucky that I have a collection of mugs and friends that get me. This blog is the story of tea time with my friend Jes. Today on this Tuesday she is having surgery so I am sending her all the positive thoughts and loving vibes. You got this girl. This marks the first day of March. Wednesday the second day of March is her birthday. One she will never forget. This is how this wonderful lady and I became best-teas.

The year was 2009 and I was working as an assistant manager of a clothing store. Truth be told I hated this job with a passion. I never wanted to be stuck in a dead-end job yet here I was struggling to make ends meet, just one of my many failures. I was wearing clothes that I hated and supporting a brand I didn’t care about. My heart wasn’t in it. I do believe that things do happen for a reason. The reason I feel like I was at this job was to inspire the younger gals working there to get real jobs. I told them to go to school and become someone or do something. I was enrolled in online college while working there which I completed and I use this degree at my current job. My current job allows me to help and inspire people and my heart is in it. What a change a job can make in our lives. Jes made a job change that year as well.

During this retail job, time is when I met Jes. She is a fiery girl who has always known what she wanted.  Jes is that kinda person you are drawn to. She is easy to talk to and will always put a smile on your face.  She doesn’t filter it and tells it like it is. She has become one of my very best friends. She is the friend I immediately wanna call when I am happy or when I am sad. I know she is always going to answer right away and say “Hello, my tallest friend”. Over the years we have shared both happy and sad tears together over tea. I cannot thank this girl enough for always being herself. You have the biggest heart out of everyone I know. You make the perfect cup of tea.

A couple of years ago we actually stopped being friends. We just recently re-connected. Things work out for a reason. This is when I realized just because someone doesn’t do something exactly the way I would have or would have wanted doesn’t mean they didn’t do the best they could.  Truth be told I came home from a vacation totally pissed off at someone else and I took it out on some of those closest to me. I regret the way I handled the situation. Never react from a place of anger. I have since found healthier ways to communicate my anger. I am always a work in progress.

Truth be told I missed this girl when she wasn’t a part of my life. She brings light and an aura of joy I have never found in anyone else. I am so very thankful when I reached out and apologized for my wrongdoings she accepted. I believe forgiveness is the best form of love. It takes a strong person to say sorry and an even stronger person to forgive. Thank you for accepting my apology and being my friend. Here’s too many more tea times and talks.  I cherish my tea time with you friend. Cheers to finding the perfect cup of tea paired with the perfect friend. Love you, long time girl!

 

 

I knew our time would come to an end one day, but no matter how much time we had, it would never be enough. I knew it would be hard but I didn’t know it would be this hard.

I am grateful you shared almost forty years with me. You accomplished so much in your 87 almost 88 years. You touched the lives of so many people. You weren’t just my Opa you were my very best friend. My daily phone call. You gave me the best advice and you never gave up on me. You always rooted me on no matter how crazy my plans were. You taught me what it was to have a close-knit family. You loved us like no other. I am trying to dry up my tears and honour your memories but it’s hard. I miss you so very much.

I spent two beautiful days with you before you passed and I will forever be grateful for those memories. I needed a long goodbye. You shared so many stories and so much love. We share a lifetime of memories that I will forever cherish.

I would give anything to hear you laugh just one more time, you truly had the best laugh. I pick up the phone and I so badly want to call you. The days aren’t the same without your calls.

You shared with me your life motto of “Do your best and if your best isn’t good enough fuck it” I will forever live by these words and share your message.

Your determination was next level. When you set out to do something you accomplished it. For 33 years you were a huge part of the AA family you stayed sober by the help of AA for 33 years. We did a zoom meeting together just the night before you passed. You were dedicated and will be missed by so many people from that community alone. Then add in family, friends and all the people from your building days. You touched so many peoples lives you are an inspiration.

Thank you for giving me the best farming childhood. For allowing me to have all the pets to fill my heart. For always making me feel like I was special. For always loving me. I miss you like crazy and love you beyond words. Until we meet again.

 

https://www.rushnellfamilyservices.com/memorials/erich-huebner/4856106/index.php

February is the month of love. Happy early Valentine’s day!

Thank you to each and every one of you who stop by to read my blog. Thank you for reaching out and sending me some love. I love all the messages coming in. This journey has been so much fun. Thank you for joining me on this journey.

I will admit I am not a huge fan of Valentine’s day but I am a huge fan of love. I think you should appreciate and show love every day. Celebrate those you love at every given opportunity. The world needs more love.

Love is something I used to struggle a great deal with. l I didn’t realize this until I set out on a journey to discover myself. The biggest piece that was missing in my life was that love starts within you, with self-love. You cannot love anyone else until you love yourself.

Along my way in life I had gotten lost, completely lost. I fell into years of darkness. I had no love for myself or anyone else. I didn’t love myself and so I ended up in these less than ideal challenging relationships. I was searching for love in all the wrong places.  I knew I no longer wanted this to be the next chapter of my life. I knew I had some issues that I needed to face.  I set out to do some hard work. This is the hardest work I have done and the change didn’t come fast or easy.  Discovering that you have no love is a hard place to be. This messed with my head. I did a lot of emotional work. I cried so many tears. I am glad I did it though. I am proud of myself. I learned to be a better communicator first with myself. I learned a love language of positivity and I fell in love with myself. I will always be thankful during this hard journey I had my heart dog Charles who without ever saying a word taught me what it is like to feel unconditional love.  I went from no love at all to completely filled with love. I love myself.

I strive every day to tell and show my son how much I love him. I am a single parent and I want him to look back and know he was loved more than anything. We say I love you so much it’s probably annoying to watch.  We work on showing each other love each and every day. I have never felt a love so strong as the love of being a parent. You make my heart so full and so proud. I am so lucky and blessed that you are my son.

My family and friends, I send so much love each and every day. I would be lost without my crew of people. They always support me and root me on from the sidelines. I am so grateful when I think of how many people I love and how many people love me. I have such a huge smile on my face. I could spend days typing out so many thank you and I love you messages.

In my darkness, I wasted so many years unable to see all the love right in front of me and all the love the world had for me.  I was unable to express love. Start with self-love and watch your love grow. Fall in love with yourself and watch your relationships change. The way you love and communicate with yourself sets the tone for the way you love and communicate with others. Find that personal love language.

If you are struggling know you are not alone and if you need to chat my phone is always on.

 

 

I am a pretty ordinary woman whose choices have led me down an extraordinary life path.

I do not think I am better than you because of the journey I am on, everyone has a journey, Everyone has a story. Each of our journeys is unique it is what makes us who we are.

There is only one me. I am now aware of my fears and failures. I am now aware of my accomplishments and positivity in my life. I am able now to talk about my darkness. The darkness that at one point consumed my whole life and almost ended my life. I am not embarrassed to talk about any part of my life.  If you ask me a question you will always get an honest answer. I am not here to please anyone. I am aware that I am not for everyone. I am aware I don’t have to like everyone I meet and they don’t have to like me. I am doing the best I can in sharing my story to show we are all capable of change. I want others to know no matter where you feel stuck in life there is always someone who can help. Keep moving, keep working and keep dreaming. You are never alone. Help is always available. Reach out if you need help. If I can’t help you I am happy to help you find the help you need. Networking is an important part of life.

I wish when I was stuck in the darkest parts of my life that I knew what a life coach was. I didn’t find my life coach network of friends until I started to surround myself with positive people. Positive people keep me inspired. Surround yourself with positive people and i guarantee your life will change. I also surrounded myself with amazing pets. Let’s be serious I don’t know how to live life without a pet. My dog is my constant companion. She keeps my life filled with purpose. She demands a walk everyday. She keeps me moving forward. She reminds me without ever saying a word how much love is in my life. I am blessed. I am grateful.

I am not what has happened to me. I am what I choose. I own up to the choices that I have made.  Did I always make the right choices? HECK NO!

Did I always do the right thing? NOPE!

I learned a lot of life’s lessons the harder way. I did however learn a great number of lessons and a lot about myself along the way. I used to live with such regret. Let that go. Carrying around regret and negativity will only keep you stuck. Negativity will hold you back. Negativity will trap you. Negativity will cause sickness.  Accept what was and make what is the best you can!

I am doing my best and if my best isn’t good enough fuck it.

 

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The winter months keep on coming. I feel frozen in time and stuck in life. The months seem long, dark, and cold. I am overthinking decisions that I have been wanting to make for years.  Forty is creeping up on me fast. I started home renovation projects that I wish I could complete in a day. I don’t like living in disorganization. I feel like I want to curl up in my nice warm bed and wake up in the spring! I think I would make an excellent bear and quite enjoy hibernation.

Today’s fitness goal was exactly what I needed to clear my head and get back in the game. The struggle has been real. Yes, I struggle but struggles are important to talk about.

I started doing virtual runs recently and I find I run better when I can see beautiful scenery from around the world. It makes me wanna add so many destinations to my must-see travel list.

My first virtual run was on Vancouver Island a place I miss dearly and long to be reunited with. My heart is on that Island. I can hear the ocean calling my name. I have done some virtual runs through beautiful mountain terrains and across breathtaking suspension bridges. While all that scenery has been beautiful I have struggled lately to crush a run. I run but I am struggling to keep a good time and I have to stop to catch my breath, fix my shoe or give my back and legs a break. I try to remind myself I am doing my best and that I am running through injuries. Never give up always keep moving forward. Motivate yourself to do better.

Today I woke up on a Monday in January which was a day off after working the weekend. I heard the morning alarm go off. I knew what time it was. I did get up but then I got back into bed. I realized no I need to kick my own ass! I said I was going to run so I got up, threw on my workout gear, laced up my shoes, and got on the elliptical. I was so excited that I started running before I found or started a virtual video. I am not a great multitasker while running so I don’t know what I hit on the tablet but I loaded the world’s slowest train ride through the swiss alps. I’m still impressed I got anything started without falling off the elliptical.

Many years ago I was lucky enough to be on this very train ride and so it flooded me with gorgeous views and that feeling of gratefulness that I had sitting on that train. I love mountains and the swiss alps brought me to tears. Around every bend, the sights took my breath away. This train ride will be one I never forget. All the windows are glass and everywhere you look the sights take your breath away. It might be the slowest train ride but my run was one of the best times of my life. I never stopped running despite the pace of the train being super slow. I crushed my goal. I felt so good I went on to go to a weights class and a yoga booty burn. This morning fueled my soul and reminded me how lucky I am. This morning cleared my mind and reminded me I can do whatever I put my mind to. I am going to be fit, fabulous and forty the count down is on! Nothing is standing in my way except my own negative thoughts. I refuse to let the winter months unmotivate me there is always a way to incorporate fitness into the day. Today’s fitness starts with shoveling snow! I need fitness to clear my head, fill my heart and remind me how truly grateful I am.

Do I have anyone else who loves virtual runs?

Anyone who wants to join me in a fitness goal?

Today Janurary the 12th two of my favourite people in the world share a birthday. One was born a few years before the other.

Happy birthday to my son Daniel you make me so proud each and every day. I cannot believe you are already nine. It feels like just the other day my uncle Merv called and said hold him in until the 12th I wanna be birthday buddies! The thought of this conversation always makes me laugh.

I went into labour on the 10th of January and giggled at not having him until the 12th. Guess what happened? birthday buddies for life. The ultimate birthday gift is the promotion from favourtie uncle to G-R-E-A-T uncle.

Dan came a month early and picked the date and time he wanted. Bonus points I had him while Jerry Springer was on TV which I always loved watching with uncle Merv. Since his delivery day, Dan has been picking his dates and times for what he wants to do. He walked early correction he didn’t learn to walk he just got up and started running and he hasn’t stopped since.

Nine years have flown by so fast. It brings tears to my eyes to look back on all your precious cake pictures. All the times you blow out your candles and make your cute wishes. I know most of your wishes are that your cat could talk. You have an unbelievable way with animals like a little animals whisperer there is no cat better off in this world that your spoiled cat Noah. You grew up with Charleston the corgi always herding you back to me. Kelso the corgi dog came running over to you, sat on you, and has never left your side. On days when she makes me crazy you remind me she’s doing the best she can. She is a work is progress. An old lady dog with a huge attitude. The way you show no fear around Grannies giant horses you just calmly talk to them warms my heart. You sir have a way with all animals.

Your love of building things amazes me. You can stack things like no other I often sit back and wonder how is that even possible. You have a creative mindset noticed by everyone. You think outside the box. You stump me often.

I am very glad you have taken up a love of reading. I know my Oma (grandma) is smiling down on us when we sit and read. I absolutely love when you read to me.

Every day you bring me to tears and I think how am I so lucky to be your mom?

Let’s go get some cake son!

Happy birthday to my favourite forever promoted favourtie G-R-E-A-T uncle. We hope to make it back to the Island soon to celebrate and eat cake with you. Miss you tons. Love you lots!!

Happy Birthday to the very best birthday buddies!

It’s 2022!

Happy new year friends and family! I would like to wish you the best year yet!

We have had 2 years of a weird ever-changing global pandemic. Not what I had envisioned for the years.

I thought for sure by 2022 I would have a flying car! Instead, I am trying to navigate and figure out the technological advances of my new laptop. It’s been more than 15years since I bought a new one. I rarely replace my computers or cellphones unless they stop working. I still prefer to write on paper but I am trying to get with the times. I bought a small sized laptop that I can throw in any bag. I am trying to navigate my thoughts into a word documents vs paper. I still think my ideas flow better when I write pen to paper but it’s a lot of work to then type it all out. Trying to manage my writing time better. I want to accomplish finishing my book!

What are you’re 2022 goals?

Who sets new years goals and who doesn’t believe in it?

I am one of those people who shockingly doesn’t believe in new years resolutions. I don’t think I have ever set one. Oh, wait no that’s not true one year in the early 2000’s I bought Billy Blanks Tae-Bo on DVD and was going to take a year’s worth of classes. I laugh as I type this because he kicked my butt to the point of pain and tears. I laid on my floor and wept. This caused me to give up very early on in this resolution. I might have to revisit these Tae-Bo classes and see if I could successfully complete one now. Billy you are one tough dude.

I no longer set a year goal. I think the concept is unrealistic. I think you should strive every day to be the best version of yourself. Instead of trying to change my year, I focus more on my smaller manageable daily goals. A few daily changes make my year outcome worth it without the pressure of a big goal and unnessesary tears. Small changes daily make for a better yearly outcome.

How do I do this? I start small. I try to incorporate some kind of fitness into my days. Some days I need to run off the feelings or to clear my mind other days I need to flow, stretch, slow and calm with yoga. Every day I need to move my body. I like my motto run thirty minutes and then write thirty minutes. The most important part of my day is taking some part of the day for myself. To do something I love to do. This keeps me positive. Self care and self love are always on the top of my to do list. Make time for yourself. Make yourself a priority.

Take each day and do your best. Be the best version of yourself each and every day. Think positive be positive.

Make 2022 your best year.

 

The Christmas season is my absolute favourtie time of the year despite the cold weather. My heart is always so full around the Christmas season. I cannot wait to see my friends and family. To light up the Christmas lights.

The season starts for me the minute I can find eggnog. This year I received a text from a dear friend who informed me she found it and I raced to the store. START THE CAR! This year many times in my search for eggnog stores have been sold out. I think people are catching on to my delicious treat.

My family growing up made Christmas the most magical experience. The most exciting memory for me wasn’t getting presents or even the delicious food it was finding the perfect tree.

I grew up in a small town and our local car was became a Christmas tree lover’s dream. I would wander through the rows and rows of trees with my dad sipping hot chocolate and somehow he convinced me I did it every year I found the perfect tree. We hauled it home and decorated it with all our homemade school ornaments. We would sit around with Christmas music playing, the fireplace roaring, and string popcorn garlands. I wanted this tradition to live on through my son. I wanted him to love our real Christmas tree as much as I did. I wanted to have all his kid-made ornaments proudly displayed. I wanted him to feel the same love and Christmas magic I did.

This year started off a tad rough I bought all new outdoor lights as the squirrels chewed them up before I could get them down in the spring. This year I strung the Christmas light across the house with frozen fingers and tired legs from the ladder climb only to have the squirrels chew them up the very next day. I only got to light them up once and I didn’t even get a picture.  Always have a backup plan. I took the lights off the roof and was able to rewire the strings to work. We light up the inside twice as bright. More lights on the tree than ever before.

When I moved out on my own my dad hauled out all the ornaments we made as kids and my brothers somehow survived but mine got eaten. My memories were eaten probably by squirrels. These little buggers are really messing with my positive Christmas vibes. I decided then to steal my brother’s prize cork horse ornament that’s survived some 35 years and looks new. It’s the first thing I hang at the top of the tree every year. It reminds me of all the years we had together decorating trees. I also send him a picture every year that I still have the prize ornament. I am that annoying little sister forever.

I buy a new ornament every year for my son and this year I think I found the ornament of all ornaments. I found a colour-changing hockey-themed singing Stomping Tom ball. I didn’t realize at the time it sang the whole song. I think I can now sing along to every word. I found my boyfriend a moose ornament. Every time he goes to Alaska he sees a moose. I went to Alaska with him never saw a single moose. I was so excited about their ornaments I forgot to get myself one. Good thing I have the cork horse.

My son knows the tradition first it starts with pouring eggnog, putting the fireplace channel on, cranking the Christmas music, covering the tree with lights, and then rushing to put the most ornaments on! I get teary-eyed every year with all the homemade ornaments and the ones that were given to us that hold such special memories. Every year we have the perfect family filled with love Christmas tree.

From our house to yours have a wonderful holiday season.